Saturday, December 31, 2005

Happy New Year???

Happy New Year!!!! Hurrah!!!! Or whatever... So let's see what did I do on New Years Eve 2005??? Yeah I slept... From around 9:00pm until about 05:10 or so and then I got up so that I could send this out to all of you... They didn't have too many things planned this year.... I think they are having a movie night in the MWR tent, but I haven't really looked into it. Someone told me they were having a little party out in front of the D-fac. I spent a large majority of the day in the Gym. I figure I might as well end the year on a healthy note. If you consider a very large lack of any kind of normal sleep healthy. As I sit in my tent listening to ill informed soldiers shooting blindly into the darkness, it occurs to me there are far too many bullets in the hands of people that are seriously lacking the needed brain cells. I mean take the ill informed soldiers that are currently shooting blindly into the dark recesses of the night. They are only reacting to the rounds that they hear going off in the distance. Never mind the fact that the NCO in charge was informed that there was likely to be celebratory fire as it is the New Year. In true slacker form The NCO assumes that those that are under his charge are aware of the details. The truth is that nine times out of ten the soldiers are either sleep deprived completely stressed or just trigger happy, itching to have a chance to be able to say they have a confirmed kill... Yes its sick but it's real. I have this very odd obsession with shows that deal with death in someway or another. Currently I am diving into a Showtime show called Dead Like Me . The Basic premise is an 18 year old girl is killed by a toilet seat that fell from the MIR space station. After she dies she becomes a Grim Reaper... It's an odd premise I agree but it is very funny.... So yeah not too much is going on around here. Cedar II is having all types of issues every time I hear something from them it has some kind of horrible twist. Such as "Hey we got a whole bunch of equipment in, we'll be sending up to you... Oh by the way a group of the lower enlisted we're caught having an orgy they are in a lot of trouble.. te hee hee..." I really think that Cedar II is a very bad place. It is so very odd to me... We have something like 30 people around here and the worst thing anyone has gotten in trouble for is leaving a weapon unattended... Where as Cedar II has more people and way more trouble... So far to date... We have had Inebriation,(it means to be drunk) Adultery (to have sexual relations while one or more parties are married to someone else) Mass sexual infidelity (as previously mentioned) and they had someone lock and load and pull their weapon on someone else.(thatÂ’s a bad thing, nothing bad happened, She calmed down. Apparently the victim had been pushing her buttons and had hit a raw nerve. The guy is not my favorite person, it's no excuse but the guy is scum) thatÂ’s just the crap that I hear about being up here... Suffice to say..Badad people are everywhere...I am writing this before I go to sleep (It is 8pm right now) and I will send it after I wake up I hope you all had a wonderful New Year....

Random Quote of the Blog:
"Isn't stealing from dead people kinda tacky? "Georgia” Ellen Murth - Dead Like Me

Thursday, December 29, 2005

A Restroom Rant

It's funny to me the unspoken rules that are ever present in life. Take for example the forbidden line in a male’s restroom. Today I walked into the bathroom on the way to breakfast. It is part of our daily routine, one of us gets off work wakes the other one, and then we begin our trek to breakfast. We stop at the restroom to... well to do restroom things you perv. Any way for the first time there were quite a few guys in the restroom and it was semi awkward. Being guys all conversation ceases the minute you pass the thresh hold... It doesn't matter if you were just discussing a life or death matter, or which team you hope makes it to the superbowl. (Go Bengals!!!!) All conversation will stop... I don't know where we learn these rules... but I believe it's some where in grade school. An excellent example of this rule in effect would be any major Theme/Amusement Park... As I am sure you have noticed most although not all male restrooms seem to have a constant flow of people walking in and out, hardly ever do you walk past a male restroom with a line going out the door. The point is it is almost always dead silent unless a parent is talking to his child (almost always a small female child that is unaware of the unspoken rule.) And even in that situation everyone avoids eye contact with the parent so as to not get sucked into breaking the oh so sacred rule. The reason I bring any of this to your attention (aside from the fact that I wanted to talk about it, so there) is that this morning I walked into the restroom and everything was being used. Every stall and sink had someone doing something with them (I'd go more into detail but why would you want that????) So I just kind of stood in the middle slightly awkwardly and tried my very best to not actually look at anyone directly. RFG and I were talking about the unspoken rule during breakfast and he told me concerts are another place to see the rule in effect at its most repulsive... He went to an Aerosmith concert a few years back and between a couple of songs (Janie had a gun and Dude looks like a lady, he remembered so I might as well share it with you) he had to run to the restroom. When he got there, there were guys lined all the way around the restroom relieving them selves where ever they were with the exception of the middle of the small restroom which was left clean. (Have I mentioned how nasty guys are?) I mean floor, sinks, urinals and small corners. Why am I going into more detail??? The point is no one was talking they just did whatever they had to do and left. Rules are rules. So here is my question why is it so different if your female? How many of you women have been in a place you had never been before and went to the restroom and came out with a new friend? How do you do that???... Why do you do that??? And please explain to me why the need to go to the restroom in pairs... you realize the main reason you end up waiting in lines so often is that there are at least 40% of you in the restroom that are only there for moral support. I know you carry a small compact mirror, so please don't try to feed me the "powdering your nose line" Please don't take this as anything more than morbid curiosity... I just think it is about time some one asked with out pretense. So on another tangent, most of the guys who went on leave a month ago came back today. I say most because two guys (including the Sexy Idahoan) have not made it back yet... apparently he might of been snowed in somewhere along the line. The other guy was actually only supposed to be on a four day pass and has been gone 28 days to date. I feel really bad for that guy...All of his stuff- with the exception of the small personal bag he brought with him when he left-, has been sitting in my tent for the past 4 weeks. I'm sure he is not the happiest person down at Cedar II. Speaking of which apparently the higher ups here at Scania are trying to weasel there way into staying as long as possible ( Go Higher ups!) My footlocker is causing some headaches for some people. Apparently myself and another guy from Duke are the only two people in the entire unit that have not gotten our footlockers that we sent before we left the states. They have been sitting down in Cedar II for close to 2 and a half months, I guess someone was given an order to make sure they were sent up with the guys coming back from leave but someone failed to make the effort. (This same someone is already in a lot of hot water due to a matter of infidelity that he was caught red handed with. A better expression is that he was caught with his pants down... literally.) I hope you all have plans for New Years Eve I get to work... Oh Yay!!! And Yippie Skippie!

Random Quote of the Blog: All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt! --Lucy Van Pelt (in Peanuts, by Charles M. Schulz)

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

I Don't Wanna...

Why is it we try so hard to fix things that aren't really broken. A couple of nights ago a friend of mine was struggling with a decision. She wasn't ready to share exactly what her problem was with me. It was obvious that she was struggling with something. I found out what her problem was last night. And here's the thing. I don't like her problem.... I realize without going into detail that this is primarily just going to be an incomprehensible rant..And to be honest, I'm okay with that. neaner neaner. I have a lot of friends that morals differ from mine In fact I have a lot of friends that I'm pretty sure are completely bankrupt of any morals what so ever. Man can I pick them or what? Which sounds like a bad thing when I read it over again. But eh... What can I do? I'm kidding I love my friends.The point of all this is that I never really know how to help any of my friends. Normally when one of my friends has a problem I have learned the best way to help them is to not say anything. How do you encourage someone to do something that you your self would never do? Anyway this is all pretty much pointless as the bigger issue bothering me right now is previous rumors that I was going to move down to Cedar II grew into the fact that we will all be moving down there. This is a bad thing for a number of reasons. First and foremost I really like it here damn it. I mean honestly its a great location and most of the annoying headache inspiring stab me in the brain if this higher echelon jerk does not leave me the heck alone are far far away. I am working with a good group of people, all of whom I get along with.(well most of whom I get along with.silly annoying female that causes so many more problems than she is worth) the hours are not nearly as bad as they could be. Oh and there is the fact that "Off Limits" is here. Actually I really can't back that up. I haven't actually seen "Off Limits" in more than a week. I honestly have no Idea what happened to her and since no one has any reason to share that information with me. I may never know... Sigh (such a waste) Another reason or another of many is that our freetime to try and forget where it is that we are (all far far away from friends and family) is much more limited at Cedar II because our First Sgt has volunteered our unit to be one of the mules on site.(meaning that he volunteers us for just about every single detail that slides across his little desk.) There is the fact that A certain NCO that was at Duke with me will also be there...(yippie skippie...again sarcasm) He is a good NCO please don't misunderstand. I am pretty sure he does everything In his power to make me insane. But he does do his job to the best of his ability. Which could be just his adorable way of trying to get me to mature as a soldier... But to that I say pffffbbbbttt. Oh yeah So uh I wanna say HAPPY BIRTHDAY CCB!!!!!!!! Your family in the sandbox is always thinking about you. It is amazing to me how very different each day is. Everyday we wake up with the possibility of changing our entire world... I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas...

Random Fact of the Day:
The first word spoken by an ape in the movie Planet of the Apes was "Smile".My first word??? yeah it was like poo or something.... Damn bloody apes.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Another Iraqi Christmas

This is the first blog to originate from my laptop (via a flashdrive)... So Merry Christmas to Everyone of you... My Christmas??? Well let us just say that I have had better and leave it at that... I started my shift at 630pm Christmas eve and was relieved (by a not so jolly fat man with more stubble than flowing beard) At 0700 am Christmas morning. RFG, The Hadji and Myself headed over to the D-fac (as we do every morning) Once we got to the Dfac we saw a very small (8"x11") memo informing us that the Christmas hours were to be radically different than any other normal day... Long story short.... They had only served a Continental Breakfast and had been closed for about 25 minutes by the time we had reached the door... That ofcourse made all three of us so very happy.... (can you taste the Sarcasm???) I have to admit that once again I am somewhat saddened by the differences between this unit and my last. In my last unit Christmas was bitter sweet, yes it was sad that we were away from our families but seeing as how we had been in country since February. Christmas meant that we were almost home. Christmas this year means we have almost been here 3 months... In 'O3 Big Windy (my last unit) used every excuse to throw a party... Christmas being no exception, they went out of their way (with donations from a very helpful and outgoing FRG) They purchased something like 15 cases of NeerBeer (which in no country on earth is considered at all a good thing) and after about 45 minutes of trying to shotgun the completely non-alcoholic beverage, The Pilots concocted a crude BeerBong and tried to get some if any buzz off of that... They failed to be any less sober, although quite a number did wake up feeling bloated and with an incredible urge to urinate. The point of this is that those of us that were merely witness to their slightly pathetic attempts to drown their holiday blues, found it an absolute riot.... It was really freaking funny. Now here at 528th (we are not yet cool enough to have a unit nickname or mascot) with the exception of the slow numbing, slightly persistent throbbing headache (or Lt for short) singing carols a couple of nights ago with about twenty other soldiers... ( a nice attempt although out of key and barely audible) The 528th Qm company has apparently decided to completely ignore the holiday altogether. RFG and I had a nice Christmas lunch and watched the third season of Scrubs until he had to go to work. After that I went to a late dinner with two people I don't normally spend much time with.We had a very nice dinner. One of them actually happens to be from the Antelope Valley so we have some Palmdale love that goes way back. The other was with me at Camp Duke and is tolerable in small doses if nothing else. I hope I don't come off as bitter or unappreciated because I'm not honestly. All in All it was an Iraqi Christmas and what more can one ask for??? On a much happier note I do want to thank my grandparents for the package I received from them a couple of days ago. I don't know how you all feel about mail but over here all mail is greatly appreciated and packages are like little micro-Christmas all year long and always provide a smile no matter how hard the day was before receiving it. So again thank you very much grandma and grandpa... CCG you snail-mail letter is on the way, thank you so much for writing. I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas and a Happy Boxing Day ( A Canadian Holiday that I do not understand what so ever...Silly canucks!) So this is you favorite Scribe/Soldier wishing you all Seasons Greetings...

Random quote of the Day:
Life is not about how many breaths you take.
Life is about the moments that take your breath away.- Will Smith as Hitch

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

A Day Of Words

I hardly ever know what to think each time I wake up... I would say morning but seeing as I hardly ever wake up during any part of the morning... Anyway it is always amazing to me how every day has the possibility of being new and different. Take for example this week in the past eight days I have had truly frightening news (RFG's house fire) Great news (my staying here) and a whole lot of things that are somewhere in the middle... Take for example a few days ago I received an email from someone I hadn't spoken to in over 11 years. The someone would be my fathers second wife. In one email I found out I was an uncle to a set of two year old twins... Isn't that neat??? And I found that my father and his family are doing well... Which is nice to know. I purchased a new laptop today... And of course because it was I who bought it I had to work for it harder than the average Joe... The Hadji came to my little area about an hour before the px closed and told me that they (being the PX) were having a twenty percent off sale... And then he brought up that he had considered purchasing a laptop...(not twenty minutes before this RFG and I had been talking about how I should get one) after waiting in line and talking to a very rude older gentleman (when I asked him if he worked there he said no I just wear this shirt because I like the color) I paid for it brought it back to my tent and began the unwrapping process... As I opened the actual laptop to inspect it I found the LCD Screen cracked pretty severely... At this point I had less than twenty minutes to pack it all back up and hustle my happy little butt back over there... As I walked in the Check out lady was like "oh no what's wrong with it.." All I could say was (in my best Italian accent) "The screen she is a broken" the check out lady sent me back to the Mean old man (who at this point became very helpful, I think he felt bad.) and he regrettably told me that my friend (the Hadji) and I had gotten the last two. The only other available one was the display model... So I took that one... At that point I had already decided to get one and if I would of backed out I probably wouldn't of ever got one.... Now that I do I can try to write some more. I have sorta had this story floating around in my head for a couple of months... Who knows maybe in a year or two you'll be able to pick up a copy of my first novel?? It isn't very likely but it would make my day. Grandma and Grandpa I love hearing from you and I'm so glad that grand pa is doing so well so soon after his surgery... Nemesis if your reading this you should be emailing me. That goes for you to Ranger boy.... Merry Christmas Everyone.....

Random Word of the day:
The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.: defined as "a lung disease caused by the inhalation of very fine silica dust, mostly found in volcanos". Here let me break it up for you:
pneumono = related to lungs (Latin)
ultra = beyond (Latin, as in "ultraviolet")
microscopic = extremely small (Latin/Old English)
silico = silica (Latin)
volcano = volcano (Latin)
coni = related to dust (Greek: konis, dust)
osis = disease / condition (Greek
The only other word with the same amount of letters is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconioses, its plural.
However, the orgin of the word has been found to be a hoax.The actual name of the disease is pneumoconiosis.
And now you know.......

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Don't Sweat The Small Stuff....

It has recently come to my attention, that that smallest details are usually the cause of the major problems we all face everyday. I mean look at it this way how many times have you glanced down at your fuel gauge on the way home after a long day at work and debated back and fourth on whether you have enough gas to make it back to work the next morning... Only to run out of said gas 4 miles from the nearest gas station. The same goes for people who constantly pick at minute annoyances afflicted on them by others. I mentioned earlier that while we were in Kuwait the Female tent was having some personality clashes (for lack of a better expression) well as it turns out, A large majority of that problem is here in Scania with us, Now don't get me wrong this person isn't all bad... We just haven't found the good in her yet.... I'm guessing the evil has it held hostage. I'm considering leaving a horse head in her bed to wake her up a little... No that's a little too Don Cortelone... Any way this one trouble maker has been knit picking one of my soldiers... And they finally had it out the other day... One more large issue that could of been avoided by paying attention to the small facts... Another example is the Crazy Haired Princess or Off Limits. How much simpler would life be if I would of just walked up to these beautiful young women... And said "...Hey you look like you could use a friend. I'm not trying to get into your pants, Just thought that maybe you would like another set of ears to bounce your... uh... er... uh thoughts.... (yeah that's the ticket) someone to bounce you thoughts off of."The point is that almost every situation that becomes too enormous to control almost always started as something we thought inconsequential at one time...

Random Law of The Day... In New Hampshire: If a person is caught raking the beaches, picking up litter, hauling away trash, building a bench for the park and many other activities without a permit, he/she may be fined $150 for "maintaining the national forest without a permit."

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Good News Follows Bad...

There are three words that while you are in Iraq will make you cringe... Hmmm on second thought there are a lot of words that can make you cringe. There is a list of small phrases that you don't want to hear said to you or anyone that you know.... On the top of the list is Red Cross Message. A Red Cross Message is a direct line of communication from back home and is almost always bad news. There are a few reasons to have a positive red cross message, such as your wife, sister mother, whatever, had a child. Nine times out of ten though when you hear those words your heart jumps into your throat and your brain starts coming up with all of these different worst case scenarios. Especially if your a paranoid person like me who constantly worries about everything. The reason I bring this up today, is that last night while I was at work and RFG was peacefully sleeping in our little area. Our Platoon Sgt Woke RFG and told him to wake up and come to the office... Here's the thing, soldiers or not, when we first wake up we are not paying complete attention. At First RFG was under the impression we had some kind of mission that was urgent... When the platoon sgt came back a couple of minutes later and repeated what he said "You need to come to the office now, you have a redcross message, there has been a fire, that's all I know" (I paraphrased I wasn't there) that little panic light went off in his head...On a normal day it takes about eight minutes to walk from our living area to our office... Eight minutes can be an eternity when your loved ones are at risk... I can not even begin to imagine everything that went through his mind at that time. Luckily Everyone in RFGs family is fine. The house has some damage but it is already being repaired, I don't know the complete details, and I'm sure I've probably over stepped the personal line already. But I wanted to give an accurate picture of what those words can do... I didn't find out until the shift change ( The oncoming shift leader sleeps in the area next to myself and RFG) and all he told me was "don't wake him, he got a RedCross Message last night, something about a fire, he'll tell you more when he wakes up" Now you have to understand... I absolutely adore RFG's family I practically lived there the six months before we deployed, they are in every sense of the word my Washington family. Needless to say I was near panic the entire way back to the office (our office is only where we do admin, we work outside the fence) when I finally arrived back at the tent RFG was sleeping so I went ate breakfast, grabbed his favorites cereals, yogurt a banana, and chocolate milk (cuz I'm a good friend) so that when he woke up he wouldn't starve... He was still sleeping I went to the internet cafe for an hour and he was still sleeping. I finally decided that if I didn't sleep I was likely to shake him violently until he told me what happened, so we slept... When he finally did wake up. He told me what I told you already, and relieved what seemed like a 6 ton weight off my throat.... On the complete opposite side of the spectrum I got some great news today, RFG had to go talk to the Platoon Sgt to let him know what was going on and I tagged along with him. ( I tend to follow him around like a lost puppy even when he hasn't nearly scared the life out of me) As we were walking out the Lt hollered my name (Very rarely is this followed by anything other than a mind numbing discussion that will slowly grow into a dull throbbing headache) I very theatrically rolled my eyes and went back to her little Micro office, she asked me how many foot lockers I had.. (at this point it took all of my strength not to break into my patented Happy Dance, yes patented. The only reason they would bring my footlocker to Scania is if I was going to be staying here el'peremnente... It means permanent you uncultured swine) My response with as much nonchalance as I could muster (which means a large lopsided grin) "Uh... (grin) Just one ma'am... Its green..." And then she told me they should be bringing it up soon... I said "thanks" and walked out... (I might of skipped but I was trying to walk) I am so darn smooth... I didn't say anything about it for like five minutes and then I giggled, (shut it) did my Happy Dance and said "Their bringing my footlocker, that's very good." RFG said yeah I thought the same thing... (deep inside he wanted to skip to)....

Random Stupid Criminal of the Day: Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits. . ...You think Iraq ever had a Camel express similar to our Pony Express????

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

From A Distance....

That's right ladies and gents two blogs in one day. And how did you get to be so lucky you ask??? Well truth is I have something to say... I truly don't like when other people are upset. I think I'm some what empathetic,,, (no Sexy Idahoan or RFG not pathetic) I am usually able to read someone's true emotions despite what ever face they have on... No I don't think I'm psychic... I prefer to think of it as being more observant than the average person. The reason I bring this up is yesterday "Off Limits" was crying I walked past her twice and both times she was wiping tears from her eyes... I feel like I am responsible for her even if it is from a distance. RFG told me it wasn't any of my business and that he saw her laughing with another person.. Seconds before the second time I saw her... I don't know I just feel bad.. I don't even know her name... Let alone how to make what ever is bothering her better.... Not that I think I would be able to if I did, but I would try... She isn't the only one, the more I look around the more I see people acting out, trying to hide their emotions so that they don't look weak. I feel bad for them.. To be honest If I didn't have the Sandbox Files this time around I honestly think I might lose my sanity... I always feel so much lighter after I post something... Its my digital counselor which makes you all colleagues, so stop being mean....Grin... I am mainly talking to RFG and The Sexy Idahoan... Truth be told everyone handles their emotions in their own way... I would like to think that someone talking to me helps with their issues... but eh... what do I know???

Second Random Fact of the Day: A Boeing 747's wingspan is longer than the Wright brothers' first flight. How is that for progress.....????

Un-Freaking Believable

I know that most of you don't care so much about what's happening elsewhere but every once in a while I come across an article I think should get more coverage... You wont believe this next one....
SILOAM SPRINGS, Ark. - Pregnant skydiver Shayna Richardson has survived a face-first plunge into the ground. Richardson, 21, of Joplin, Mo., was making her first solo jump in Siloam Springs, Ark., on Oct. 9 when her main parachute failed and her reserve chute didn't fully deploy.Richardson was falling at about 50 mph when she hit face first in a parking lot. Badly injured, but alive, Richardson spent 16 days in a hospital.
"I heard a snap and I started spinning and I didn't know why. I didn't know what to do to fix it. I didn't know how to make it stop," Richardson told Fort Smith, Ark., television station KFSM.
She cut away her primary chute so her reserve could deploy.
"It's called your guaranteed open. That's what everyone refers to it as," Richardson said.
But the reserve didn't open all the way.
"To have a malfunctioning reserve is one in a million. It just doesn't happen," Richardson said.
She spun out of control, heading straight for the asphalt of a parking lot below.
"At the end I said, 'I'm going to die. I'm going to hit the ground. I'm going to die,'" she said. "I don't remember it. I don't remember hitting the ground. I don't remember the impact or anything that came with it."
She landed face first.
"In the hit, I egg shelled my entire face. Everything got egg shelled. I broke my pelvis in two places and I broke my leg," Richardson said.
Rescuers got her to a hospital in Fayetteville where Richardson underwent surgery.
"I went into the first surgery where they cut me from ear to ear and they cut my face down and they took out all the fractured egg-shelled bones and put in steel plates," Richardson said.
During treatment, doctors found that Richardson was pregnant, which was a surprise to her.
She said she would not have jumped had she known she was pregnant.
"To hit the ground belly first — that's dangerous. I mean at any stage of pregnancy that's dangerous. That's not something you want to do let alone at 50 miles per hour," Richardson said.
Four surgeries and two months later, Richardson said she and her fetus are doing fine.
"Just this last week we went and saw the doctor and we've got arms, we've got legs. We've got a full face. The baby is moving around just fine. The heart rate looks good. So not only did God save me but he spared this baby," Richardson said.
Richardson has 15 steel plates in her face and lost six teeth. Her fall was videotaped and Richardson said she was able to watch it, without qualms.
"I wanted to watch it," said Richardson. "And the whole reason I'm comfortable with watching it because I know how it ends."
Richardson said her due date is June 25. She said she plans to make her next parachute jump in August.

Can you believe that it's insane, and the stupid woman wants to jump again two months after she has her very lucky baby...Soo here is my question...Why don't we need a license to procreate. This is not the first woman (or man for that matter) that has shown us she really isnt ready to care for a child... and here is another question- What if God forbid something goes wrong again... what happens to her child??? this just makes my blood chill...

Random Fact of the day: The first elevator, called the Flying Chair, was erected in King Louis XV's private apartments in the Palace of Versailles in 1743. It gave him ready access to his mistress, Madame de Chateauroux, on the floor above. The Flying Chair was operated by weights.... How lazy are you when you wont even take the stairs to have an affair???

Friday, December 09, 2005

Show Your Work...

So a friend of RFG's sent this little Math problem to him, we all got a kick out of it so I thought I would pass it along to you.... Do not take it seriously it is supposed to make you smile!

1. To Find a woman you need Time and Money Therefore:

Woman = Time x Money

2. "Time is Money" so


3. Therefore

Woman =Money x Money

4. "Money is the Root of all evil"

Money = Root of all Evil

5. Therefore:

Women = Evil

I realize it isn't hilarious but it brought a smile to our faces. Not to much else to report other than the Fact that once again people are trying to get me to talk to yet another female (Off limits) Oh and I ran 2 miles with a flak Vest today. That was about as much fun as licking multiple barnacles off an ocean liner... While it is still moving. RFG and I are conspiring to keep me at Scania but we haven't got a decisive answer yet...I just purchased the entire Star Trek The next generation Series for 40 bucks...I am such a Nerd. Oh! oh! oh! And I recieved my first package today! Thank you Mom and Dad,

Random Fact of the Day...
Dolphins are the only species of mammals other than humans that copulate (it means have the sex) for pleasure. Does anyone remember that Show SeaQuest DSV... With the Dolphin Darwin? Anyway, thank you Dr. Fish for you contribution .

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Complicating Compliments

Compliments are funny creatures. Depending on who gives you a compliment you have to behave in a certain manner... If an attractive guy tells a woman that he finds her attractive, she has to either be modest or completely vain... Take me for example... I am one of the more modest people you will ever come across and yet when ever anyone compliments my writing I get as shy as a school girl with a crush on the Varsity Quarterback, and at the same time I want to ask them a hundred different questions... What did you like? Did it make you laugh? Did you laugh at the right parts??? Do you have any ideas on how I could make it better??? And that isn't even considering the people who read what I write and have no opinion...Infact I think those people make me even more nervous. I mean did I write something you found offensive...(come to think of it this particular post might have some questionable material later on...) Did you think it was dull??? Are you just a mean person with out a soul??? Another odd thing about compliments is giving them. Take for example The Crazy Haired Princess at Duke... I truly thought she was one of the most attractive women on the whole post. But how do you express something like that with out being that weird guy with the goofy grin... "uh... uh... I uh thought you look good" And no matter how many times I go over it in my head and how great it sounds the second it escapes my lips it will sound like that...Or worse. There is a KBR woman here at Scania (haven't learned her name yet) That I'm going to nickname "Off Limits" That name suits her for a number of reasons 1st she again is an attractive woman on a post with scarcely any women to begin with. (although it is easily 4 times that of Duke) Secondly she looks very similar to an Ex-girlfriend who, with out going into any details was very, very "off limits" Any way she is very attractive and is very aware of it... The KBR personnel wear civilian clothing and... She dresses very well. And I have no idea how to even approach her... So like the Crazy haired princess, I admire her from afar. So I decided I am starting a new foundation (Warning Explicit Lyrics) I'm going to call it Cheez its... Which is CHSSHTS= civilians Helping Single Soldiers Help Them Selves. It will basically consist of Attractive Women & Men (there are female soldiers too you know) sending letters and photos of them selves so that single soldiers can meet new people and possibly meet when they come back to the states... I'm not only the Founder of Cheez its I'm also a member! So when I first came up with that it was way more explicit, I decided to clean it up. Aren't you proud Disney could Sponsor my blog and not cry. So before I forget.. The Sexy Idahoan is on his way back home I think he should of made it by now... So that's good for him two weeks of peace and quiet... Away from this little asylum. He missed a little more action similar to last month... We had an American Soldier get cut off the main route and he ended up plowing into our site... He was pulling a trailer carrying water in a 3000 bladder and it went everywhere, this was like two days ago and it is still soggy out there. This is the third time something like this has happened and we have had no injuries. Yay us! RFG has had me working out in the Gym everyday, he is so strong.. I'm like killing myself just to keep up... I have no idea why but I have been trying really hard in the gym... RFG is the first person the entire time I've been in the army that makes me want to go to the gym. Hope your all enjoying your Holiday season...

Random Quote of the Blog:
So this is mine but you can feel free to use it, I thought it up around the same time as the CHSSHTS Foundation....
---Chocolate was created by God as an apology for creating women second.
- James Brooks 2005

Saturday, December 03, 2005

A Confession

I am a nerd. It isn't any kind of news, more of an obvious statement. There are hundreds of things any of you could bring up that would validate my opinion... Anyone that has known me for longer than a week knows me as a closet tree hugging hippy. (As RFG and the Sexy Idahoan are so often referring me to) I love to read... I love movies,all movies good ones not so good... And even some that are just not good. I would do anything if it meant helping one of my friends. I often find myself in a situation where I am helping others and I wonder if I'm trying to hard. I have been watching Scrubs the past couple of days... That show is one of the funniest comedy sitcoms I have ever seen. Some people have referred to it as ER's nerdy little brother... While it is set in a Hospital this show is nothing like ER its funny... And I like it. The main character reminds a couple of my friends of me. Except he's skinny and has an incredible blonde bombshell that's madly in love with him. As I told you before I am now a resident of Camp Scania.... I really like it here... Two of my good friends are here and I actually have a job as opposed to the Idea that I should. There are a few creepy things here and there... Like take for example the 5 foot Cross with "Slim" written on it which has been creeping me out every time I look at it. As the story was told to me, the Unit before us had adopted a stray dog and named it Slim... Apparently they liked him so much they put a cross up in his memory.... Here is my slightly insensitive question... If they liked him so much.... Why didn't they FEED him???? That isn't fair I don't know how he died... But it is creepy... Another little thing that makes me uneasy... Some of the women here, they look as though they are starting to really enjoy all of the gawking... There are a couple of KBR female civilians that are dressing as though they are headed out to a club. It is all very odd. There is a slight possibility that I could be headed back to Camp Duke... I don't really know the reason behind it. I think someone said it had something to do with our Battalion and KBR not getting along... I talked to my platoon Sgt and asked him if someone else could go in my stead... Well that's what it sounded like in my head... In reality I waited to speak to him for an hour and when I finally was able to I lost my nerve and mumbled some dribble about already had a chance to have a trailer, would really like to stay here, and work out with my friends. More on that as it develops....

Random thought of the Day: You may be only one person in the world,
but you may also be the world to one person... gee aren't I just swell?