Thursday, December 29, 2005

A Restroom Rant

It's funny to me the unspoken rules that are ever present in life. Take for example the forbidden line in a male’s restroom. Today I walked into the bathroom on the way to breakfast. It is part of our daily routine, one of us gets off work wakes the other one, and then we begin our trek to breakfast. We stop at the restroom to... well to do restroom things you perv. Any way for the first time there were quite a few guys in the restroom and it was semi awkward. Being guys all conversation ceases the minute you pass the thresh hold... It doesn't matter if you were just discussing a life or death matter, or which team you hope makes it to the superbowl. (Go Bengals!!!!) All conversation will stop... I don't know where we learn these rules... but I believe it's some where in grade school. An excellent example of this rule in effect would be any major Theme/Amusement Park... As I am sure you have noticed most although not all male restrooms seem to have a constant flow of people walking in and out, hardly ever do you walk past a male restroom with a line going out the door. The point is it is almost always dead silent unless a parent is talking to his child (almost always a small female child that is unaware of the unspoken rule.) And even in that situation everyone avoids eye contact with the parent so as to not get sucked into breaking the oh so sacred rule. The reason I bring any of this to your attention (aside from the fact that I wanted to talk about it, so there) is that this morning I walked into the restroom and everything was being used. Every stall and sink had someone doing something with them (I'd go more into detail but why would you want that????) So I just kind of stood in the middle slightly awkwardly and tried my very best to not actually look at anyone directly. RFG and I were talking about the unspoken rule during breakfast and he told me concerts are another place to see the rule in effect at its most repulsive... He went to an Aerosmith concert a few years back and between a couple of songs (Janie had a gun and Dude looks like a lady, he remembered so I might as well share it with you) he had to run to the restroom. When he got there, there were guys lined all the way around the restroom relieving them selves where ever they were with the exception of the middle of the small restroom which was left clean. (Have I mentioned how nasty guys are?) I mean floor, sinks, urinals and small corners. Why am I going into more detail??? The point is no one was talking they just did whatever they had to do and left. Rules are rules. So here is my question why is it so different if your female? How many of you women have been in a place you had never been before and went to the restroom and came out with a new friend? How do you do that???... Why do you do that??? And please explain to me why the need to go to the restroom in pairs... you realize the main reason you end up waiting in lines so often is that there are at least 40% of you in the restroom that are only there for moral support. I know you carry a small compact mirror, so please don't try to feed me the "powdering your nose line" Please don't take this as anything more than morbid curiosity... I just think it is about time some one asked with out pretense. So on another tangent, most of the guys who went on leave a month ago came back today. I say most because two guys (including the Sexy Idahoan) have not made it back yet... apparently he might of been snowed in somewhere along the line. The other guy was actually only supposed to be on a four day pass and has been gone 28 days to date. I feel really bad for that guy...All of his stuff- with the exception of the small personal bag he brought with him when he left-, has been sitting in my tent for the past 4 weeks. I'm sure he is not the happiest person down at Cedar II. Speaking of which apparently the higher ups here at Scania are trying to weasel there way into staying as long as possible ( Go Higher ups!) My footlocker is causing some headaches for some people. Apparently myself and another guy from Duke are the only two people in the entire unit that have not gotten our footlockers that we sent before we left the states. They have been sitting down in Cedar II for close to 2 and a half months, I guess someone was given an order to make sure they were sent up with the guys coming back from leave but someone failed to make the effort. (This same someone is already in a lot of hot water due to a matter of infidelity that he was caught red handed with. A better expression is that he was caught with his pants down... literally.) I hope you all have plans for New Years Eve I get to work... Oh Yay!!! And Yippie Skippie!

Random Quote of the Blog: All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt! --Lucy Van Pelt (in Peanuts, by Charles M. Schulz)


Gram & Gramps said...

Got your E-mail. We will do our best to come up with what you asked for in some kind of original way---anything to make you laugh. The lines at both the men's and women's rest rooms at Blaisdell Theatre Center are so long that most of the people trying to use them miss the rest of the show after intermission. They say that there are plans to expand so that the lines won't be so long. I am wondering what people will do while the reconstruction is in progress. Ha! Ha! The best solution is -- go before you leave home and wait until you get home.

It looks as if we will be having a very smoky New Year's Eve. No tradewinds, lots of vog from the Big Island and all of the bad air from all of the firecrackers. They say that over 15,000 permits have been sold and each permit allows 50,000 firecrackers. Yuk!!! Hopefully, no one in our area has bought any. It has been quiet the last few years and the air hasn't been too bad.


Gram & Gramps

RFG said...

You are a liar you did not work on New Year's Eve, you you better aplogize to your