Friday, October 27, 2006

Casual Encounters 2.0

I had a quasi celebrity encounter yesterday afternoon. But for you to understand how awkward this encounter was I have to tell you how I found out this celebrity was going to be in my area. About a week ago I was running some errands at my PX, my old bank is there and I needed some miscellaneous crap. Anyway as I was looking through the magazine racks I noticed a poster advertising that Mercedes McNab was going to be coming to our PX on the 26th. As I was looking at the poster, I saw her name on the cover at the top of a Playboy. Turns out she played Harmony on Buffy & Angel which I will unashamedly admit I was a big fan of while they were on, at least in the beginning. She also has three horror films coming out in the next year. So as I am standing in front of the adult magazines I decided to call RFG and ask if he thought it was in bad taste to have Miss McNab autograph the Playboy. We decided that if she didn’t approve of the magazine or it’s readers she would not have posed Nude! So yesterday with Playboy in hand I walked up to her and said.... " huh, uh... huh... would you sign your naked pictures?.. huh uh huh..." I’m sure I didn’t actually say that but I am sure that is what it must of sounded like to her... She was very pretty and she even let me take a couple of pictures with her...While we were taking the pictures I wrapped my arm around her and she said I had soft hands, I muttered something about using a lot of lotion and immediately turned bright red. I really wish I had a delete button on my mouth. Luckily she laughed. I can only imagine how that situation might have turned out if she would have not been amused. Huge neckless body gaurds coming at me from all angles in a half push half tackle positions, not my idea of fun.
So Tommi scared the crap out of me the other night, I got a phone call from a hysterical 8 year old saying her mommy was hurt... It turns out she was having some major medical issues... Obviously I wont go in to too great a detail but suffice to say another friend of ours (whom I will refer to as Pink Panther from here on) took her to the hospital and I watched their kids. She is still hurting but better now. I honestly don’t know all of what caused it. But I do understand massive stomach pains, as I am a frequent subscriber to those particular issues. In other news I have been applying like mad to a whole lot of local businesses trying to find some kind of temp transition work while I attend school... as of right now I have been officially hired by Circuit City at full time in their hand held area (MP3's Ipod’s and such) and unofficially by Wal-Mart as a supervisor in the Electronics Department. Neither job is a career by any stretch of the imagination, but they will help me pay my rent and afford school and of course buy DVD’s which is obviously the most important factor. I am still putting in applications at a few other places mainly because it will help my ego if I am choosing my job as opposed to settling for the first thing offered to me. The hiring process for Wal-Mart has been no small source of amusement for me. I am sure that most of you have at least once been in side Wal-Mart and seen both the types of people that work and shop there. I am scheduled to have my third interview on Monday, they told me that basically this is the Job offer portion but what ever. On my second interview while I was in the waiting room before my interview a very skinny woman in her late thirties asked me if I was cool.. And then proceeded to snort some crack or coke or whatever from between her thumb and forefinger, If I’m lying I’m dying. She looks at me as she is wiping her nose post snort and says "....want some? It’ll help you calm down.." I told her "Thanks but I prefer injections in-between my toes... So I can hide the track marks"... She looked at me like I was a wise ass, which was pretty observant of her considering I was laying it on pretty thick. I promise you I will go postal if she gets hired over me. LOL So yeah I will keep you all updated as usual... If you click on the title of this blog you can see a pic of Mercedes McNab.
Random Quote of the Day:
I am sure you have all heard this quote before but I am not sure how many of you know who actually said it...

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.
William Congreve (1670-1729)
The Mourning Bride, 1697, Act III scene 8

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Stab Wounds

I wanted to get back into the habit of posting with some sort of regularity, and it turns out that even though I just posted last night, quite a bit happened today. All the action started when I pulled up to the house at about 5:30 this evening, apparently while RFG was doing one of his Do-it-yourself projects he cut himself badly enough to warrant stitches. So RFG his four year old little girl (whom from here on out will be referred to as Rainbow Fish because it is the book she has me read to her on a constant basis.) The twerp and I all piled into my car, If I haven’t explained how I ended up with the car I will in my next blog. RFG is doing his best not to drip his slightly seeping blood on to my interior and Rainbow Fish who just woke up from a nap was pretty much annoyed at everything. Twenty five minutes later and 3 back seat drivers too many. (How sad is it that even the 4 year old feels the need to tell me how to drive?) We arrived at Madigan Army Medical Center or MAMC if you are a hipster. RFG then remembered that Rainbow Fish had a doctors appointment with in the hour. (Explain to me why you would schedule an appointment for anyone at 10 minutes to seven?) After we discovered that RFG was the only one able to take his daughter to the Pediatrics wing to see the doctor we decided to do our best and do both. So we waited in the first waiting room with a number of sick and injured people including a young girl about 11 years old who had some how shattered her shin bone while riding her bike.... Two words ladies and gents... Freaking Ouch!!!! Anyway I digress, we decided that while RFG Rainbow Fish and the twerp went up stairs to take care of the pediatrics appointment I would stay downstairs and explain to one of the nurses what was going on. So after siting down there by myself for about thirty minutes (and explaining repeatedly that RFG would be right back.) I had a very pleasant tap on my shoulder. And there standing in front of me was Tommi along with her two kids. And as it turned out Extra was there as well, I spent the next two hours trying to entertain three children as well as three adults. I think I did fairly well. I will say that keeping the sick children away from the ones who aren’t sick is much more difficult than I had ever imagined. Well it is almost 1 am and I need to get some sleep. So I will write again soon...

Not So Random Quote:
Life is tough, and if you have the ability to laugh at it you have the ability to enjoy it.
Salma Hayek

Monday, October 16, 2006

The Long Weekend

Well obviously a lot has happened since I last wrote, I do want to let you all know that I will be continuing the Sandboxfiles. It is a little odd now that I am no longer in the sandbox, but I enjoy writing and truly enjoy that you all continue to read it. Today’s blog is primarily to discus the chain of events since Thursday evening.
Thursday evening Barbie, The Mexican and I went out and had a little bit of fun. Read Barbie and the Mexican got drunk and I drove them around. We started out at a local sports bar that is next to the theater that I frequent. The bar is called the Green Pup but for the life of me I can not find anyone that knows why. Anyway the three of us played pool for about two hours and decided to go to another bar that was having a Karaoke night. I’m not sure how many of you are aware of this but karaoke is Japanese for ass hole. Grin. I’m kidding. Barbie and The Mexican got very smashed The Mexican got so drunk that he passed out for over an hour... Which of course meant that I had to mess with him, I wrote up and down on his arms. It wasn’t in bad taste but he wasn’t very happy with me the next morning at formation. Barbie met a girl. By met I mean he made out with a girl for something like 2 hours, (or the entire time that the Mexican was unconscious.) I’m gonna call her "Extra" because she had a little extra. And that is all I will say about that, Anyway "Extra" had a DD with her as well and she and I talked for a little bit. Mainly about how being a DD doesn’t seem like a bad thing until your friend is making out with a stranger at 1:30 in the morning and you have to be at work at 6:30. I am going to call her Tommi for reasons that only she will find amusing. She seems really nice, Her husband is a Ranger like my little bro so we had interesting things to talk about. Anyway we finally made it home and after I convinced the Mexican that he didn’t want to sleep out in the car, he was adamant about it. We did our best to get a couple of hours of sleep before we had to leave for work at 5:30 that morning. We made it to work and I managed to get out of PT because well I hate it. And after that I went to the bank where I found out our dear "Succubus" (Formerly known as Rocky) had been making fraudulent charges on my account for as far back as the bank was able to check, Which is 60 days. These charges are completely ridiculous as well, I mean BMG records some online cosmetic dealer the list goes on and on... the bank told me that they would do their best to get back as much money as they could. Not all of mind you but some. After that wonderful News I went home and started ripping out the brick work in RFG’s master bedroom, he and I did that for something like four hours and then Barbie called me and told me that "Extra" and "Tommi " had called and asked us if we wanted to hang out that night. Apparently I was going so that Tommi wouldn’t be some kind of third wheel. We had fun watched movies and talked about different things, the whole fiasco came up so I was able to vent a little. She was a bit older than me and told me not to worry about it, yadda, yadda. Everyone always says that, but honestly it stresses me out a little you know? Not so much that someone took advantage of me, because sadly in today’s world, people like me, are going to be victims of people like her. It’s that she saw something in me, you know, how does someone know that they can do that to someone. What did I say that told her I was some kind of sucker that would blindly open my heart and wallet at her every whim?
Sorry didn’t mean to go off on a rant like that, I’m still a tad bitter. So Saturday I mainly stuck to myself, I ran a few errands but mainly I went and got a massage. Saturday night Barbie and decided we wanted to go to a club of ill repute, or a Strip Club if you prefer. Frankly I wanted to see naked girls. Once again I was ignored and Barbie was attacked, there was this one little Puerto Rican Girl that would not leave him alone. I found the whole thing very amusing. We made a game out of saying no to the girls that asked us if we wanted a private dance. Apparently we are both very bitter individuals... As for today I really did very little, I put a towel rack up in my bathroom, and did some laundry and that is about the some of it. I hope you are all doing well. I promise to post again and more frequently. Above all If I have learned nothing else I have learned that when all else fails smile.... it will annoy the piss out of whoever refuses to help you. Kill them with kindness...

Not so Random Quote:
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
Herm Albright (1876 - 1944)

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Thank You My Friends!!!

First and foremost I would like to thank each and everyone of you for your support. I wish I could give you some information on this whole fiasco, but the truth is I honestly don’t have any idea what is going on. As of today, I still have not heard from Rocky. I do want to explain a little of what I do know. Rocky and I met while I was in Hawaii, We met online, and we never met in person. If anyone is to blame for the events that have transpired, I am. One of you asked how she ended up with my car. She told me she bought me a car, I never gave her mine, when I headed to Spokane I was under the impression that I was going to be picking that car up. I don’t want you all to think this was a complete blind side. I had doubts now and again. I think the biggest issue is I wanted to believe that someone like her could be interested in someone like me. I am really not one to wallow in self pity. Well at least not in these blogs anyway, grin.
I do want to say that there is a part of me that wants to believe that she has merely been detained or is somehow out of reach. If she did get shipped off to Iraq, I would understand if she hadn’t been able to call. The biggest problem I run into is the fact that I have been there, twice. There are phones everywhere. There is internet access at every camp. Which means much to my dismay, I have been had. RFG has done his best to keep his "I told you so’s" to himself. We have a running joke that I am always right unless I am arguing with him. I have officially moved into his gigantic house. Today the moving company delivered the majority of my personal belongings. I have a lot of crap. I have a lot of unpacking ahead of me, and I am pretty sure that I have no place to put anything. Sigh. So on the brighter side of things, I have been doing quite a bit of home improvement over the last two days. Last night I managed to put new carpet into my bedroom, and today I pulled out and replaced the Twerps carpet down stairs. I did better with hers, pulled out the carpet, replaced it and even put those molding things that go on top of the carpet, her room looks really good. I have been trying to write this blog all day and I am just drawing a blank. So I think I will leave you with this. Thank you all for being so awesome and so very supportive. If I was unaware before you have all shown me that no matter what obstacles are put before me, I will have all of your support. Thank you so very much.

Not so Random Quote:
I thought that this quote was very appropriate...
Do not protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends.
Czech Proverb

Sunday, October 01, 2006

My FIrst Weekend Home...

So this could possibly be the most difficult blog I will ever write but I will get to that difficult hurtle in a minute. Being that it was my first weekend back and I had some time, I decided that I would take the trip to Spokane spend some time with Rocky and enjoy just being together. I decided to take the Greyhound, as I was also supposed to be picking up my car from Rocky to drive back to Ft Lewis. Anyway, the ride to Spokane via Greyhound is just under 8 hours long. Luckily I had some very interesting characters to help make the trip go by a little less boring. This will be the first time I will use anyone’s actual name but as I am very unlikely to ever see most of these people again it shouldn’t be a big deal. The first character I met was "Jessica Pothead" I swear her last name was something close to pot head which was pretty much dead on as it turned out. Jessica was a sixteen year old 4 foot 10 inch electrician, her father is an electrician as well and apparently she got into some trouble in school and now works full time in her fathers company, she had her little electricians licence card thingie and everything. Color me impressed. I met Jessica inside the bus station before I actually got on the bus, she was being bothered by one of the many odd people that were hanging around. I handed her my military ID and told her if anyone bothered her too much she could hang with me and I would do what I could to help her out.. On the first bus Jessica sat next to a very large woman that had been on the bus for close to 36 hours. We didn’t talk to her much, but trust me at 5 foot 4 inches and pushing at least 345 lbs. We smelt her the entire time. Luckily the large woman changed busses when we got to Seattle. As soon as we sat down on the bus we met two more interesting characters. Amanda (a 23 year old spazz, I am pretty sure she was high when I met her and I know for a fact that she continued to pop pills and drink what I think was vodka mixed into her diet coke. Sigh... ) next to Amanda was a guy who I am sure told me his name but I can not for the life of me remember what he said it was. Anyway he was supplying the vodka to Amanda and eventually to Jessica. "The Pusher" was fairly quiet but offered some weed and booze to me. I declined for multiple reasons, first and foremost, ewwwww.
Next to me was a Vietnam War Marine Veteran. His Name was Kyle apparently he was a sniper during the war. That is at least what he told me. I don’t know if I would be able to describe him in a way that would do justice to the person he was but I will do my best, He was wearing a faded button down shirt completely open with out an undershirt, luckily he was a little harry, um ewww! Faddded torn jeans that I’m pretty sure he bought around the time I was teething, and wore them every day since. He too was a big fan of uh... herbal relaxation... Grin... Told me he fought in a war where they issued weed and he believed it should still be legal... Uh News Flash "Kyle" it wasn’t legal it was just easier than telling you what to do. There were a few other characters but not nearly as entertaining as the above. There was a young African-American mother who wore a cute sweater and pair of sweats that were about a size or two too small, her two young daughters were very well behaved, if you consider a two year old and a six year old running up and down the aisles well behaved...There was also a young boy about fourteen or so by the name of John, he asked me alot of questions about the war and some obligatory DID you kill anyone questions, he lied about his age after one stop where I saw him smoking during the 15 minute stop. Said he was totally 18. Sure John... sure. Never mind the large badge around your neck that says minor... LOL. About two hours before the end of the Trip I met a Paige. By this time the bus had pretty much emptied out and there were more seats available. Paige is a pierced, tattooed 19 year old mother of one boisterous young child. She and I actually had a really good conversation. We talked about this college she goes to in Olympia and Iraq and are interpretations of the war and how it is being handled. (She supports the Soldiers but not the war.) She had something like 8 piercings 6 of which were visible, apparently she also had her nipples pierced. Which is a little odd but very cool. Paige I think is the only one I met that I would actually like to continue building a friendship. She seemed very intelligent. Anyway here comes the hard part. When I arrived at the bus station in Spokane there was no ride to speak of, which wasn’t a big deal Rocky had told me earlier that afternoon that she would be at work until 11pm and I had arrived at 945 pm,,, So I waited... met two more interesting people and gave a bum 8 dollars. The two women I met were very out there. The first was a 47 year old, that was headed to Monroe to confront her boyfriend and the woman he was cheating with. And the thirty five year old African America woman was headed back to Tacoma after spending the last three days with her cousin here in Spokane. She Letitia I believe her name was, was very surprised how nicely the people in Spokane were, she also flirted with me relentlessly, which was only mildly disturbing. "Letitia" was very surprised that the people were so nice in Spokane, and told me she asked herself repeatedly if they knew she was Black, I informed her that her skin color was a big tip. Grin, I am such a smart ass.
Long and depressing story I waited for Rocky until 945 Saturday morning she never showed. I couldn’t call her and I have no idea where she actually lives. So Saturday I mainly wandered around down town spokane until about six thirty when I decided to get a room for the night in a nasty dingy little hotel by the name of The Downtowner. The owner was very sweet she looked like a recovering crack addict but she was kind. I saw a few movies one yesterday, and two today, I even paid for one of them today... grin, The end result is I honestly have no Idea what happened to Rocky, I am sure there is a logical explanation, but the truth of the matter is that I am really upset. Which is why the movies. That is how I deal when I’m sad I surround myself with other stories. The part that kills me is after I had gotten on the bus, I called her and she asked me to marry her the next day. I just wish I understood what happened you know? Anyway I took some pretty cool pictures of Spokane, and managed to help the family of a four year old who fell off a ridiculously large Red Rider Wagon Slide. He was fine I believe he just got the wind knocked out of him. Oh and just to top off this oh so happy weekend of depressing events. As I was sitting here writing this blog The girl that I wrote the poem about im’d me (instant mesage). Just to say hi. She is doing well. Which is a good thing and the perfect topper to this weekend... I’ll write again soon....
Your sad Scribe
Not so random Quote..
Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone - but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding.
Bette Davis (1908 - 1989)