Tuesday, April 27, 2010

All That I am.

There is something very humbling about not having an actual job or income for 5 months. I knew that my 6 month trip to England to spend some quality time with Helen would not be with out a cost. Financially it was a very foolish thing to do. I can't express how lucky I am to have someone love me the way she does. With out her support and that of her family this trip would not have been possible.

I am not complaining, I was very lucky as previously mentioned, I found a volunteer job as a News reader at a local station, (which eventually grew into two shows a week with Helen and I discussing Films and the music surrounding them.) Which allows me to do something with the ample amount of time one finds when he doesn't have a job.

It sounds ridiculous but really I just miss having money to purchase stupid things with. I haven't bought a DVD in over 5 months. (If this doesn't sound shocking you obviously have no idea who I am.) I want to buy little gifts and flowers for Helen, things that if I had a job I would do with out a thought. I want to be able to take the woman I love and the family that has stood behind us to a nice meal or a night out on the town.

I have never been what I would call financially stable but I have, for the majority of my life, kept my head above water. I have one month left in this beautiful and amazing country, and I am lucky to have a job lined up back home for when I do arrive. A job that I hope I do well enough to excel at.

This post isn't funny or insightful, it is just thoughts that are running around my head.

Helen says I have become very quiet over that last couple of weeks. I hadn't noticed a difference until she brought it to my attention. My whole life the only time I was quiet or reserved was when I didn't feel a need or necessity to perform. I am truly comfortable here. I can't describe how amazing it is to groggily reach out in a half sleeping slumber to find someone reaching out for you.

I can't tell you how lucky I am, or how lucky I feel, because if i attempted to put it into words I fear it would have less effect. I love her, with all that I am.

Random Fact: The picture above is of Warwick Castle, one of the recent amazing places I have seen in the time that I have been here. (It is older than my country, as I am constantly reminded.)