Tuesday, January 29, 2008

28 Years Later... Or Happy Birthday To Me!

Sometimes I have to stop and take a moment to really just look around. I am surrounded by amazing people everyday and I think I am as guilty as most of forgetting that. Today is my 28th birthday (Somehow even saying that is painful) Today doesn’t seem to be any different than the day that preceded it nor will it be any different than the days that follow it and yet to me and a handful of others it is supposed to be a celebrated day. I don’t know if my indifference to my birthday has something to do with the obvious separation that I have driven between myself and my family, or if I really have become the emotionless person I have joked about being for so long. I want to mention that Heath Ledger died a week ago today. I have to be honest that scared me more than a little. I joke about getting older but when someone my age dies... Well it will scare the life out of you. He was an amazing actor and Hollywood is a little darker without him. Not that I'm going to cry over a complete stranger. 

         I haven’t cried in a really long time. I know that as a 28 year old man that is probably a good thing; but anyone who has known me longer than the last 2 years has at least a little inclination that something has changed and not necessarily for the better.  I still have emotions...mostly i can feel them swirling around in my chest and my head, it just seems that I am more reluctant as of late to fully embrace them as I have in the past. The things I say (take the previous encounter at IHOP for example) are meant to be funny, even though as soon as the words exit my mouth I know I have made some kind of cardinal sin. My problem is that the reason I don’t feel guilt is that I was being impolite not dishonest. Am I wrong for that? 

      In a happier vein My roommates through an awesome party for me this past weekend in honor of my birthday. The cool part about the party is that we decided to have it as an 80’s themed party. (Because I was born in 1980... gee we are creative!!!)  A lot of people came dressed up in Awesome 80’s regalia and we had a lot of fun... I have no idea why but leg warmers are far too easily found. Because it wouldn’t be me if my costume wasn’t a little odd I based it off of the cover of one of my favorite ’80’s movies (Say Anything) starring one of my all time favorite actors. (John Cusack) I actually took a photo that looks exactly like the DVD cover. (which I am pretty sure only further proves just how much of a nerd I really am.) The night was for the most part uneventful with one rather unfortunate misunderstanding. 

    I didn’t drink very much which explains why I am having no problem recollecting most of the evening. (It also explains the lack of apology at the beginning of this post!)The same cannot be said for some of my friends. I did how ever have a couple shots of Patron (top shelf Tequila, its like 60$ for a fifth....sheesh!) as well as the last bit of that awesome Mexican pomegranate tequila that red had brought back from Cabo. 

  As far as the unfortunate incident, it really wasn’t as big of a deal as it had seemed at the time but it did get a little out of hand. And unfortunately i scared a couple of folks. As I was mingling Red found me and mentioned that someone was in my bedroom with the door locked... Now under normal circumstances this is not really a big deal but for some reason all that ran through my mind is that no one was going to have sex in my bed before I did. Which sounds completely rational to me even now. Anyway I pounded on my bedroom door and scared the bejesus out of four girls that were trying to have a conversation away from the music. I felt terrible but I think at that point the damage had been done. They left not too much after that... My Bad... 

 My actual birthday was really nice. My co-workers decorated the bank last night and I walked in this morning to see happy birthday James with Spider-man decorations everywhere it was awesome, and then one of my customers brought in a Carrot Cake (my all time favorite) and then the bank gave this huge gift basket with all kinds of cool Spider-man themed gifts... all in all it was an awesome day. When i got home from work i had a quiet night in with my roommates we made Grilled Cheese Sandwiches and creamy Tomato soup, and of course we watched movies. 

  As I said in the beginning of this post I am so very blessed to be surrounded by so many awesome caring friends. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Happy Birthday to ME!!!!!!!!!!! 

Random Celebrities and Moments in History That Share My Birth Day:

Oprah Winfrey.... As in i am Queen of America Winfrey

Tom  Selleck... As in I used to be Magnum PI 

Heather Graham; she was in the second Austin Powers movie as well as Boogie Nights

Ed Burns.... His most recent Movie is 27 dresses... he was also in Saving Private Ryan. 

William Mckinley The 25th President of the United States.

In 1861 Kansas offically became the 34th US State. 

and on a creepier note Jimmy Durante (The narrator of the holiday classic “Frosty the Snowman”) died on my birthday the same year I was born. 

Walt Disneys Snow White was released in 1959

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Thirteen Years Later

   Hey there everyone 

I haven't written a poem in a while and this is a pretty good example of why i don't do it very often. I got the idea from an online friend of mine who is a really awesome song writer that has a page on youtube.  You can check out her page at: 


So this is loosely based on the fact that my Ten year High school reunion is coming up this June which is obviously bothering me just a little more than i would readily admit... although the last time i had a six pack was at the grocery store.  Hope you all enjoy it...

Thirteen Years Later...

Freshman year he was schooled from Home

His first Day in high school his sophomore Year... 

Freshman fears he faced on his own 

Thirteen years ago he arrived

Where Jocks and Cheerleaders thrive.

Already with their new friends and slapping fives.

They already know where you don’t want to be caught.

and where you hide when your done being taught. 

Where the druggies go when they smoke their weed. 

Thirteen years ago in memories long gone to seed.

He walks into his first class

So hard to play it cool, when 

Your lab partner has a mouth full of steel wool.

She smiles puts out her hand..

a new friend in this teenage wasteland...

Football tryouts later that day

He’ll never make the team is all they say.

She goes out for Cheer Squad...

Their laughter chases her out of the main quad...

Thirteen years later he’s heading back

A full head of hair and abs like a six pack.

His high school sweet heart on his arm 

Thirteen years later and he’s still all charm.

Her mouth once resembled steel wool...

now her smile makes most men feel the fool. 

The Quarterback is going bald and sells used cars

The Head Cheerleader knows all the local bars.

The sweethearts laugh when they think back

How life is always slow to find the right track.

A.J. James Brooks 

January ‘08    

Random Quote of the Blog:

  "You Learn more with an open mind and a closed mouth."

                  AJ James Brooks

The Most Amazing Dog!

I thought a few people would get a kick out of this.
I promise there is an actual blog in the works it will be out the weekend before my 28th birthday...

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

This is awesome!

So as I was fumbling around on Youtube i came across this video... thought you all might get a kick out of it.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Happy Belated New Years!!! And A Tale Of Drunken Debauchery

At the end of my last blog I mentioned that most of my Christmas was pretty stellar. And then two hours before I wrote the blog something terrible happened.I wanted to wait until all parties involved were informed so that they wouldn’t find out in one of my rants. The week of Christmas My roommate and I were pet sitting for our landlords as they were out of town with their family on their Mexican Vacation, we were pet sitting a 12 year old rottweiler and a 10 week old kitten, we have no idea why (my landlords have 6 other cats and the dog gets along with them fine.) but the dog hurt the kitten; there was blood everywhere and the kitten ended up dying. Obviously not the way that I had hoped to end my Christmas. The worst part of it was that for some reason my house is completely void of any shovels so we weren’t able to bury the kitten until New Years Eve. 

     I want to thank my grandparents and my Mom and Ted(dad) for the very cool Christmas gifts. That card was awesome Mom. Thank you all so very much. So funny story about the mail and why things are so messed up right now. Apparently when Gilligan moved out he attempted to put a hold on his mail as he didn’t have a forwarding address. Because amazingly bazaar things happen to me, the post office decided to put a hold on all of our mail. So last night I got a whole bunch of mail, including two checks that would have been very helpful before Christmas. But what can you do? 

       New Year's Eve was a blast I would like to describe it in vivid detail but yeah I can’t. I tend to write about these parties where I am more of a chaperone than a guest. So while we were burying the kitten New Year's Eve morning, I promised everyone that i would drink and I was a man of my word. It started off innocently enough, the girls and I were going to do a shot of the Tequilas (Pomegranate flavored and Vanilla flavored) that Red brought from Mexico. Well, after about six... ...teen shots I lost count. Before the party I had bought some Vodka’s (Grey Goose and Skyy) and apparently drank them. as well as a six pack of Mikes hard Berry. (Am I a boozer or what?) I believe it is at this point where I was way more drunk then was absolutely necessary. Apparently I was going around to everyone at the party and groping them. Luckily this only slightly annoyed most of the people at the party and they laughed it off.

           One guest remarked that I was one of the luckiest drunks he had ever seen as he watched me grope him and followed directly with groping his girlfriend. Red did an awesome job keeping an eye out for me and made sure I didn’t do anything to get myself killed. At one point she decided that she should put me to bed and I took this to mean I should run from her as much as I could. I have been told more than once that I was a very happy drunk and that for the most part i giggled like a 14 year old school girl. (Yeah... that sounds about right.) Red eventually caught me and put me to bed around 2 am. Apparently the party went on for another 2 hours but i have no memory of anything after I took my pants off at the foot of my bed. I do want to take this moment to once more give a public apology to anyone that I offended by either groping either them or their significant other as well as to the people that are important to me that were offended by my behavior. I might have also said some things that could be construed as rude and unnecessary to two of my guests that choose to swing from the same tree. My Bad.

     The next morning I woke up with a slight headache but other wise feeling perfectly fine. We all climbed into the CR-V and decided to go out to a late brunch. We originally planned to go to IHOP but apparently everyone else in the tri-city area had the same idea. At this point I said something incredibly rude to a very large couple. (The comment was completely uncalled for, and had something to do with consuming pancakes and it was really funny.) At this point we decided to go to Red Robin which was down the street a ways... Mainly to prevent me from insulting more people. and then we saw a movie... and that is how i spent my New Year’s. 

     We had another party tonight and as I write this it is 3:30 in the morning.  I was sober. Which is how it should be, my new co-worker stopped by and tried to teach me to dance a little, it didn’t go over well but it was fun. I hope you all had a very happy new year and I will probably post another blog around my brithday... 

   Here is to 2008

Oh by the way Mr. Brooks thanks for the MAC mouse tip... I really appreciate it.

A Random Observation:

How to convert from military to civilian life

Army life, In Other Words...Your OLD Life!

1. Admit:

"I was in the Army; I have a problem." This is the first step to recovery...

2. Speech:

Time should never begin with a zero or end in a hundred, it is not 0430 or 1400; it is 4:30am and 2:00pm

Words like latrine, overhead, fourth point of contact, bunk, and "PT" will get you weird looks; bathroom, ceiling, ass, bed, and workout... get used to it.

"Fuck" cannot be used to -replace whatever word you can't think of right now, try "um".

Grunting is not talking.

It's a phone, not a radio; do not use words like roger, say again, send it and conversations on a phone do not end in "out"

People will not know what you are talking about if you tell them you usually spend your Monday's doing a PMCS and that you need a 5988 before you can do a proper QA/QC or that you spent a deployment in USAREUR. It's all gibberish to them.

Likewise people will not understand you when you use expressions like "watch your six" or "pop smoke."

Also, the people you hang out with now are your friends and the people you work with are your co-workers. There is no such thing as a "battle buddy" anymore.

3. Style:

Do not put creases in your jeans.

Do not put creases on the front of your dress shirts.

A horseshoe cut looks dumb, not motivating.

A high and tight looks really dumb as well.

A hat indoors does not make you a bad person; it makes you like the rest of the world; what's more it's a hat and not a cover.

You do not have to wear a belt ALL the time.

4. Relationship:

Being divorced twice by the time you are 23 is not normal, neither are 6 month marriages, even if it is your first.

Marrying a girl so that you can move out of the barracks does not make "financial sense", it makes you a retard.

5. Personal accomplishments:

In the real world, being able to do pushups and run a 13 minute 2 mile will not make you good at your job.

Most people will be slightly disturbed by you if you tell them about people you have killed or seen die.

How much pain you can take is not a personal accomplishment.

The time you got really drunk and passed the sobriety test anyway is also not a personal accomplishment.

6. Drinking:

In the real world, being drunk before 5pm will get you an intervention, not a "good for you"

That time you drank a 5th of Jaeger and pissed in your closet is not a conversation starter.

That time you went to the combat life saver school and practiced giving vodka IV's will also not be a good conversation starter.

7. Bodily functions:

Farting on your co-workers and then giggling while you run away may be viewed as "unprofessional".

The size of the dump you took yesterday will not be funny no matter how big it was, how much it burned, or how much it smelled.

You can't make fun of someone for being sick, no matter how funny it is.

VD will also not be funny

8. The human body:

Most people will not want to hear about your balls. Odd as that may seem, it's true.

9. Spending habits:

One day, you will have to pay bills

Buying a $30,000 car on a $16,000 a year salary is a really bad idea.

Spending money on video games instead of on diapers makes you a fool.

One day you will need health insurance .

10. Interacting with civilians (AKA YOU):

Making fun of your neighbor to his face for being fat will not be normal. Calling him a "fat-body" is not polite.

11. Real jobs:

They really can fire you.

On the flip side you really can quit.

Screaming at the people that work for you will not be normal, remember they really can quit too.

Taking naps at work will not be acceptable.

Remember 9-5 not 0530 to 1700

12. The Law:

UCMJ does not exist and will not save you from prison.

Your workplace unlike your command can't save you and probably won't, in fact most likely you will get fired about 5 minutes after they find out you've been arrested

Even McDonalds does background checks, and "conviction" isn't going to help you get the job

Fighting is not a normal thing and will really get you arrested, not yelled at Monday morning before they ask you if you won.

13. General knowledge:

You can in fact really say what you think about the President in public.

Pain is not weakness leaving the body, it's just pain.

They won't wear anything shiny that tells you they are more important than you are, be polite.

Read the contracts before you sign them; remember what happened last time.