Something Wicked This Way Cometh...

“I don’t know.” I hear those three words on such a regular basis that they have started to take on a new meaning. One that I assure you Webster would not stop the presses for even if the meaning became world renowned. In the interest of using as few blue words as possible, I am going to say that those three words have come to sound a lot like “Bugger Off.” To say that things around here are tense is an understatement. According to recent rumors the rest of the Unit should be here sometime with in the next seven days. (Is it just me or do I sculpt the vague into prettier pictures than the media?) I want to say that this is a good thing, at the same time I would also like to say that I have a beautiful wife and family waiting for me back stateside. But sadly the former statement is just as false as the latter. The truth of the matter is that the entire unit being here is a pretty solid step towards all things that are the suck. The entire unit means all the big wigs as well. And as I am sure there is some secret rule some where in one of the higher ups Big Book of Unnecessary Rules that says if it is not broke fiddle with it until it is. For the most part there are very few of us that are completely satisfied by the way things are run here. That does not mean for one second we want some one to meddle with a system that is working. Yes it is very hot. (The last two days the temp has been just under 120...ewww) Yes the days are extremely long. 13½ hour guard shifts starting at twenty after seven am as well as PT at 0530 am. It isn’t ideal by any means but it works. We have adapted and we will over come. (Even if we do Bitch gripe and moan on occasion.) No one knows for sure what’s going to happen officially when the rest of the unit gets here. As I mentioned I have heard a lot of “ I don‘t knows.” One of my favorite rumors is that all of the current guard units will be taking up exterior mounts. (As in outside the wire, where just two days ago one of the positions we will be assuming was involved in shots fired incident with some local insurgents that aren’t fond of 10,000 watt hand lamps being shined on them as they are approaching the perimeter. Oh the fun!) As always I will keep you updated if any new concrete information is available.
On a completely different note there are quite a few of us who have seriously considered head butting each other to get a few days light duty. Let me explain, as you know Barbie and The Invader had their little battle royale. Due to the fact that they both received stitches, they weren’t able to wear the kevlar required at guard duty. So for the past week and a half they have been at the FARP. Not only did they get to sleep in, they were off every day before 3:30 pm. As most of us would love to actually have that extra five hours to hide from the heat. It has been very tempting to slam our heads together. Barbie had his stitches removed today and was back with the night shift as of 8pm tonight. The Invader has no intention of coming back to guard duty until he is either dragged kicking and screaming or there is no longer a FARP to go to. (Fortunately the FARP is closing the same time the rest of the unit arrives, grin.) Man that guy is such a skeez!


Riddle me this:

Answer to the previous Riddle: The Human Heart.

And today’s is as follows:
What may go up a chimney down, but cannot go down a chimney up?

And the countdown continues..
15 days and a wake up... a tad more than two weeks and I will be swimming with dolphins. God is good.