Friday, May 05, 2006

The Full Story... Starring Barbie and The Invader

Once again I was not present for the altercation. And once again I have assembled the bulk of the story from numerous eye witness accounts. Once again I would like to stress how unreliable second hand information is. I read somewhere that as far as a prosecutor is concerned the only party to be less likely to tell the truth then the prime suspect, would be the eye witness. That said the following is what information I have gathered referring to the fight between Barbie and The Invader. The two have a history of bad blood. The Invader has made a name for himself by saying the wrong thing, or something that could only be construed as intent to instigate. Barbie as much as we love him does not have a high tolerance for much of anything. (Especially smart mouths, such as myself.) Barbie is however one of the most loyal people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. According to several sources on the night shift the Invader was nearly in two other fights within the past three weeks. Once with Ducky (who most of you would be interested to know is currently tipping the scales some where in the neighborhood of 278 lbs of solid muscle.) And once before with Barbie (who soaking wet weighs almost 163 lbs, though much smaller is also almost completely solid muscle.) Neither one of these previous arguments progressed passed the yelling in each others face faze. Though it was obvious to most of the night crew there was a brawl brewing. The night of the fight started the same as every other night. Barbie and The Invader replaced Toothpick and I. As I was leaving I put my hand on Barbie’s shoulder and said half joking “Don’t kill the kid.” Little did I know a little more than ten hours later those words would sound much more ominous. Apparently things were tense most of the night. At one point Barbie attempted a civil conversation and The Invader would confess a desire that would set Barbie’s already hot blood to a magma like boil. Those words more or less were as follows In a joking manner to one of the others on the night crew (currently this third person has not earned a nickname.) That if he shot anyone it would be “Not Law”(formerly known as NinCompOop) and RFG. As I mentioned previously Barbie is one of the most loyal people I have ever known, RFG and Barbie’s friendship is somewhere between brothers and a surrogate father/son type of relationship. Needless to say, even jokingly threatening to do this when each and everyone us carries a high powered weapon and over 200 hundred rounds is not a laughing matter. At this point the tide has turned. The Army has a lot of rules that make things like how a fight is started very important. According to these rules the person that is most likely to get in the most trouble in the aftermath is whoever threw the first punch. Barbie is well aware of this and begins saying anything and everything he can think of to get The Invader to throw a punch. Much to his credit The Invader is not so easily baited. Thirty minutes or so later things appear to have settled down to The Invader. Unbeknownst to him Barbie is still at his boiling point. The invader is sitting on the hood of the Humvee, Barbie makes a move to pull him off and The invader throws the first punch. Similar to the bulls in Spain, Barbie takes the blow full on and sees only red. I can’t tell you what happened blow for blow, as everyone has a different opinion of how the fight played out. I can tell you as I said before, Barbie might have a small build but he is one tough S.O.B. At one point as they were rolling around on the ground The Invader managed to pin both of Barbie’s hands underneath him. At this point Barbie says to himself I have other weapons and begins to head but him not once not twice but three times. Relenting The Invader releases Barbie’s hands and Barbie sits up and begins wailing on his head. At this point Ducky is finally able to get an arm around Barbie and yank him off the profusely bleeding Invader. While seperating the two of them was no easy task stopping the head wound proved to be much more difficult. Above The Invaders right eye was a laceration so deep they could clearly see his skull. Which would later take six mean looking stitches to close. Above Barbie’s eye was a smaller laceration that would later take two stitches as a precautionary attempt to prevent more bleeding. The MP’s were notified by the TMC personnel and both Barbie and The Invader are currently pending UCMJ (Uniform Code of Military Justice) action. Which could be any number of punishments from the extreme such as being sentenced to prison (very unlikely) to medium intensity such as loss of pay, loss of rank or least intensity extra duty. I will keep you posted as I learn more.

Riddle Me This:
The Previous Riddle’s answer is:
One’s Breath.

And Today I invite you to solve this mind bender as peacefully as possible... grin.

If you break me, I’ll not stop working. If you can touch me, my work is done. If you lose me you must find me with a ring soon after, what am I?

Happy Cinco De Mayo everyone!!!
20 Days and a wake up!!!!!!