Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Warning Graphic Material Follows, Or The Invader Hazing

The Invader seems a nice enough kid. With a few minor quirks that might slowly drive me into an early dementia. Although he has been a great writing inspiration. So he has officially been in country 14 days, he has been here with me three of those. In a rare occurrence of just dumb luck he managed to be scheduled on the schedule opposite of mine. I had been hoping against hope that it would work that way because for the most part that means that we really wont interact very often. With the exception of our days off, the most we will see each other is for about 10 minutes a day during the shift change. Which is just bloody brilliant. I think I am going to keep you all informed of his gross habits mainly just so I don’t start to feel like a psycho for being seconds away from vomiting on a regular basis. That may sound over dramatic. But some young men are just nasty. Now don’t get me wrong I am sure my mother would tell you that I had my moments when I was younger as well. Which is probably why I am such a neat freak now. I don’t know why but for some reason this guy has the oddest way to deal with his pistachio shells after he slobbers all over them. I mentioned before about throwing them in his hat. (Which he did proceed to wear the next day.....ewwwww) and last night instead of putting them in his hat he was just throwing them onto the floor. I came in and I was like.... “Yeah, you need to clean that stuff up. That’s just really nasty.” Hopefully this is just some sort of way for him to find his boundaries. You know to find out how far he can push me before I use my asp on his skull. Grin. Lucky for me I vent here instead of on him. In other news I can hardly wait to go on leave now. I find myself day dreaming about the Island through out the whole day. I am sure it has very little to do with my interest in scantily clad people of the female persuasion. Honestly I just need a nice long break away from hear to recharge my batteries. I think the Invader was a little nervous about starting work tonight. I kept telling him it would be fine, but I don’t think he is really going to believe me until he gets into a normal routine. While I was writing this earlier he was alternating between snoring and mumbling in his sleep. I am so happy he is on nights I can barely contain myself. So I have been trying to think of a way to tell you the following story in a PG-13 sort of way, but for the most part in order for it to make sense I have to be pretty blunt. Let me give you a little back ground first so that I can sort of put this into perspective. The week we left for the Sandbox a movie came out by the name of Waiting. It was about this group of people that worked at a restaurant similar to Applebee’s. The movie was a comedic look of what goes on behind the scenes while you are eating at your favorite neighborhood restaurant. It covers a lot of material any of which is enough to make you never say a rude thing to any waiter again, let alone want to eat out at all. There is a game the men of the restaurant play through out the movie that is sort of nasty but hysterically funny. The basic rules go like this If Guy A can make Guy B look at his exposed genitals Guy A gets to kick Guy B in the rear end. That’s it. In the movie it really is a lot funnier than I am making it seem here. Especially since they get very creative with how they get people to look. (Obviously this movie is Rated R) The reason I bring this up is that yesterday while I was at work Screaming Testicle (how ironic is that) decided to introduce the game into our little group. Much to our dismay. ( If any of you don’t remember ST I introduced him a couple of months back feel free to slide your mouse to the right and check the January Archives.) Now here is the funny part last night after we got off shift, The Man With The Big V-8 convinced the Invader that everyone on both shifts plays the game. And if he wanted to fit in quick he should try and get a couple of them. Keep in mind no one on the night shift has any idea the day shift is full of a bunch of nasty bastards that have far too much time on their hands. As he was leaving for work The Invader was bragging that he was going to get everyone tonight. Sigh. Hazing is a crime folks. I want to take this moment to make it clear that I myself do not play this game. I honestly think it is rather nasty. Though unfortunately I was kicked in the rear end more than once yesterday. Sigh, do you have any idea how many years of therapy I am going to need after this deployment? We are talking decades.

Random Actresses That I Drool over on a regular Basis:
Rachel McAdams She was in the Wedding Crashers and Red Eye.. And oh my GAWD is she so very pretty.
Kiera Knightly She was in Pirates of The Carribean and Domino and the new Pride & Prejudice

Kristin Kreuk She plays Lana Lang on Smallville and she was in the movie Euro Trip

Trust me they are all stupid gorgeous.

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