Thursday, February 09, 2006

You Might Be From The AV If

I realize that is only going to be funny to about half of the people that read this blog and I offer my apologies; I came across this little gem while messing around on myspace, (another blog site where like 5,000 people from the AV have their profile including but not limited to like 10 girls I dated while growing up.) I used to be a pimp; no I can't actually back that up. Thanks to Kristal for providing this.
You might be from the Av if:
You work at the mall and you're late because it takes you fifteen minutes to cross the light at 10th street west and Rancho Vista
You wonder why they keep changing the names of the streets (Avenue P to Rancho Vista, Avenue M to Columbia Way, Funland Drive to Lowe's Drive)
You think the freeway speed limit is 90 mph.
Your high school graduation back drop was a free way and dirt field
You know that a motorcycle cop always hides next to Auto Zone on Palmdale blvd., and has been for 10 years.
The biggest day of your life was when they opened the NEW Wal-Mart and you are now secretly waiting for the grand opening of Super Wal-Mart
You have a Magic Mountain season pass and get it at Rite-Aide
You applied for a job at Magic Mountain
You ever woke to find a wild animal (i.e. a coyote or a bear) in your backyard
You now boast that you have a Water Park in your own city
The day you turned 16 your parents bought you a Honda Civic
As a kid, you played soccer
You know that Lake L.A. doesn't have any water or a lake
You have survived the 138 and lived to tell about it
You believe Survivor winner Brian Heidik is a celebrity
You secretly listen to KTPI Country music
You have one newsman, who reports the news, weather, sports, and entertainment, and attends the same church as you
You watch the news on Channel 3
Your cable bill is as expensive as your cellular telephone bill
When you say you have a gym membership, everyone understands it is at 24 Hour Fitness
The day you turned 16 you parents didn't buy you a Honda Civic and you secretly resented everyone else who had one
You live in east Palmdale, but you make the decision to drive to Lancaster because you would rather go to the good movie theatre and the four extra dollars are worth it (you know this is so true!)
You memorized the graffiti hotline number and have it saved in your phone: 94-PRIDE
You vacation in Bishop
You've been to one Jethawks game and that was enough to last you a lifetime
You know who the Jethawks mascot is
You think that KIIS FM is 97.7
You hate all the DJs from The Edge
Your idea of a good club is Mr. Cues because they don't card
Target is "high end"
You live in Lancaster and you resent the fact that you only have one Starbucks and Palmdale has four
You tell people you're from Littlerock and they ask, "Arkansas?"
Working at Wal-Mart is better than going to AVC
You stood in a 2 hour line to get a free Krispy Kreme doughnut on opening day
You've never tasted a Tommy's burger, but can't wait
You go to AVC and you have a class with someone you went to elementary school with (this is sad but so true!)
Your evil math teacher is also your next door neighbor on the West side
You live on the west side and look down on people who live on the east side
You think all roller rinks have wood floors (Goooooooo Holiday Skating Rink)You have brought your own CD's to the roller rink
You know that "down below" means the San Fernando Valley
You live on the east side and you beg your parents to buy a house on the west side that is needlessly big just so you'll fit in
You have paid $1 to get into movies 12, and bought a $5.00 bag of popcorn and $4.00 coke
You've paid for a movie ticket at the snack bar because there was only one person working there
You live in one of the older houses on the west side, but your zip code is 93551, so it's okay
When shopping, your idea of trying a different store is leaving the eastside Wal-Mart and going to the Westside Wal-Mart
You can remember school and the freeways closing down for 1/2" of snow
You have a swamp cooler
The girlfriend/boyfriend you had a crush on in 6th grade is the same girl/boy you have a crush on at AVC
You get high and go to Denny's at the mall, and seventeen of your closest friends are there
You always wanted to get out of the Antelope Valley, but never did and secretly resent those that got out
You got out of the Antelope Valley and hate yourself for secretly missing it
(GO ARMY)


So that is that, I got the coolest package today from some friends of RFG it had a lot of good snacks and stuff but the thing that made it even cooler was the completely random Playboy from 1988. So yeah whether I just became a perv in all of your eyes or not, you have to see the humor in that. I was 8 years old when this magazine was published. Turns out that even 18 years later the women are still naked and very attractive. But of course I only read the articles. I am a man of principles after all. And if any of you believed that I have some beautiful beach front property in Nevada I would love to sell to you at a great price. Have a good one....

Random side note:
I didn't own a civic until I lived in Germany, and it was purely because everyone I knew in high school had one. And even 3 years out of high school I still wanted one.

1 comment:

dr. fish said...

wow... i never lived the but i had enough experiences there to remember alot of these things. from eating coldstone when its 30 something outside to almost getting killed in the freak blizzard come back to redlands from your house. good times. lol