Friday, February 03, 2006

Too Much Information...

I have this amazing ability to be able to do something stupid at least every other day. Which while it makes for good reading is slightly upsetting. I mean how can one man be so very stupid. So yesterdays amazing act of stupidity is probably going to have you all laughing at me, so in advance I want you to all know that I will personally smite everyone of you if this little embarrassment is brought up at any date after today. I'm pretty sure that I shouldn't be sharing this because I know most of you will continue to laugh until it hurts. Oh well, here goes... So yesterday was a little boring I was watching Charmed and I took a shower around 1100 am, when I got back to the tent I was pretty much exhausted I had been up since 5pm the previous night, so I took a little 5 hour nap before I had to go to work. Woke up, changed into my uniform and left for work (hold your horses you'll see why this is important in a few seconds) I spent over half my shift with out any problems went and picked up our midnight chow (lunch for the graveyard folks) and when I was finally back and comfortable I realized I really had to pee, (this is going to be too much information, but you wanna laugh you have to listen to all the nitty gritty.) Anyway I went to one of our little port-a-johns and unbuttoned my fly and I couldn't uh find the opening. I wear boxers because, well because there comfortable. Ask yourself do you really want to know any more? And boxers have this nice little opening to let one relieve himself in a somewhat faster motion. (Basically all I have to do is unbutton my fly and I can pee with out going through allot more work.) Isn't sharing fun. So the reason I couldn't find the opening, yeah my boxers were on backward. And here is the kick in the pants (so to speak) I spent almost 14 hours wearing them that way and I didn't notice. And that is only where the fun began. Some how after fourteen hours of no problems I couldn't go 5 minutes with out it driving me kooky, kept trying to readjust myself and I was just very uncomfortable. So then I started trying to think of where I could go in order to fix the problem. Keep in mind in order to fix this problem I have to be essentially naked at one point. Naked on the outside of the secured perimeter, not exactly something I was in a hurry to rush into. But as I said I was very uncomfortable, so I went into one of the connex's as far from the office as possible, (wouldn't want someone to walk in and see more than they were looking for.) so there I was all naked, and as quick as I possibly could I fixed the problem. I went back to the office and no one was the wiser until now. The things I share...sigh!

Random Birthdays of the blog:
Happy BirthDay Haji,(FEB 4th) and Screaming Testicle Man (dont ask!)(feb 3rd)


Anonymous said...

TMI, thats all i gotta say. but we all know y u wear ur boxers backwards....and y u sleep on ur stomach....and y and andy r so close buds!..........sorry dude, but u were practically askin for it this time lol!!!

Gram & Gramps said...

Gramps says to kindly continue to make silly, stupid mistakes, as he is compiling a notebook of items to send to "Reader's Digest" for "Humour in Uniform".

And, I say that I better not be still laughing when it is time to put the drops in my eyes tonight. The medication is too expensive to waste it on my eyelids when it is supposed to go "IN" my eyes.


Gram & Gramps