Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Reasons For Therapy

Yesterday as I was climbing down the guard tower. (Something I do on a daily basis mind you.) I fell down. It is not as cut and dry as all that and in all honesty had I seen someone else fall the same way I had, I probably would have laughed uncontrollably for at least a good ten minutes. Our guard towers are pretty solid all things considered equal. They stand a good twenty feet or so in the air and are probably 8 foot square at the top. At the base there is a solid concrete foundation which protrudes about three feet out of the ground. The stairs that lead up to the tower have a slight gap between the second and third step. (by slight I mean an 18 inch gap) The foundation sticks out about half way through the staircase so as long as you stay to the right on the way up, and the left on the way down there is no real problem. No problem that is unless you happen to be a two hundred and thirty five pound man wearing 45 pounds of gear and carrying an M-16. Wait a second, that man is me. The funny thing is that before I started down the stairs my coworker (who will hitherto be known as Lucky Charms because he reminds of that cartoon leprechaun from the commercials.) Had said that if I fell down the stairs to be sure that I didn’t fall on him... Jerk. Any way I for some reason was walking down the right side and completely forgot about the gap. I really only fell a total of 4 feet or so but because I landed on the side of my rib cage, it was equivalent to about an 8 foot drop. Luckily a rather large pointy rock broke my fall. Doh! Trust me it hurt like the dickens. (I’ve never understood that phrase.) Onto a much more disgusting topic today I was assaulted on two different levels. The first was a gross factor level. The Man with the big V-8 licked a dead fly off the wall in our break area. (This whole situation started in the first place because Screaming Testicles was trying to get somebody to give him 5 dollars for licking both sides of a flyswatter (the most he could raise was 3 dollars, because (A) we have little concern for each others health and (B) We are all cheapskates) Screaming Testicle told The Man in The big V-8 that he would give him one of his Cuban cigars if he licked the dead fly off the wall and then spit it out. Not only did he do it with out hesitation, he did it with a smile... Ewww, just freaking Ewww! The second level of assault was of a visual nature. As I walked out of the port-a-john I found myself surrounded by Screaming Testicle, Big Red, Lucky Charms and The man With The Big V-8... Unfortunately for me that was not all I found... All four of them had decided to play the game I mentioned a week or so back. You know the one where they try to get someone to look at their exposed genital region... So lucky me all four of them kicked me in the bum. I am going to need so many years of therapy after this deployment... so many, many years.

Riddle Me This...
The past couple of weeks I have been reading the Dark Tower Series by Stephen King. I am currently on the fourth book and the beginning of this book has a lot to do with riddles there are quite a few really good ones so I have decided to share them with you in a new section of the sandbox files which as you can see above will be title riddle me this... I will state the riddle today and the answer in the next blog...
Have fun....

What appears once in a minute, twice in a moment and never in a thousand years?

Random Quotes Of The Day:

“Once the game is over the King and the Pawn go back in the same box.”
Italian Proverb
“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” Thomas Edison


Anonymous said...

The letter M

Gram & Gramps said...

Darn! I didn't get there first! Of course -- the letter M!

Don't you know it isn't nice to one-up your Gram by a mile!??! But you are right -- we laughed for a long time, (it's okay to laugh once you know the person is okay) and then laughed about my fall off the ladder too. I measured and found out that I only fell 3 1/2 feet, so that was really nothing in comparison.

While you are in Hawai`i we will have to see if we can figure out some safer ways to break people up with laughter.

Love you

Gram & Gramps