Give The Man A Hand. (Explicit Content)

“I severed my fucking pinky get your ass out here!” Yeah, it got our attention as well. Yesterday was my first day off in almost a week. As it happens I am the only front line medic trained soldier on our shift, (Ironically we have two on the night shift.) So of course our first major injury happens at 8:30 in the morning while I’m sleeping a little under two miles away. Every morning we have a checklist of things that we have to do. The first and pretty much only mandatory thing is the vehicle inspection. Please keep in mind that I have heard this story 2nd hand and third hand and even fifth hand if that is even possible, so I don’t have all the details so much as a general idea of the story. As P-Dale and Big Red were doing there vehicle checks, P-dale was checking the lights and instrument panel and Big Red was checking the engine fluids and belts and such. Apparently Big Red was leaning over the engine compartment with most of his weight supported by his left hand which was above the fan blade. This is where things get a bit iffy, in order to accurately check the transmission fluid the engine must be running. P-Dale knowing that Big Red was checking the fluids turned on the engine. According to Big Red and Lucky Charms it is at this point that the fan caught his blouse sleeve and pulled his hand into the fan itself. He nearly lost his pinky and the other three fingers had severe lacerations when it was pulled in and lost some sizeable chunks of his hand as he pulled it back out. Lucky Charms and Brownie were inside the shelter that serves as our break area. They heard P-Dale yelling on the two way radio about a medical emergency and went out side to see what the commotion was all about. They found Big Red cradling his hand and saw that his blouse was covered in the tell-tale color of crimson. Lucky Charms got on the two way and requested an EMT from dispatch. They brought Big Red into the trailer and bandaged him up the best they could with the first aid kits that we are all required to carry on us at all times. (Thank God for small favors.) Apparently dispatch wasn’t able to grasp the severity of the situation in a timely enough manner for Big Red which is what inspired the a fore mentioned blue language above. Ten to fifteen minutes later the EMT finally arrived and took Big Red to the field hospital to stitch him up as best they could. (I asked how many stitches he received but he didn’t know off hand) About an hour later our day supervisor came to my room and told me briefly what happened and informed me that I was going to have to work for him that day. Thirty-six hours later Big Red is enjoying a Drug induced stupor as well as an oversized bandage that resembles a sparring glove. P-dale is not fairing so well as she obviously feels terribly about the whole situation and of course being the compassionate group of people we are a large majority of us have been ribbing her a little more than necessary. I only made one joke and I asked her permission first. She said I had one opportunity I had better make it count. So I said with the straightest face I could muster.” Hey P-dale I have this itch could you hack it off for me?” It wasn’t in the best taste but what more could I come up with on such short notice? Today went by with out too many surprises. I almost ran out of fuel again (not my fault, our on sight mechanic swapped out my original vehicle with one that had a little over a quarter tank of gas.) But luckily I made it to the fuel point with out having to push the evil vehicle. I some how skipped a day in my countdown I really don’t know what I was thinking. I’m just going to chalk it up to wishful thinking. The actual count will be below as normal... I can not wait. Never before have I needed and craved a vacation so much. Hawaii here I come! I just realized that this is my one hundredth blog posting. Wahoo! Thank you everyone for reading my ramblings and especially to those of you that have been reading since day one way back in August... I feel so special.

Riddle Me This
The answer to the previous riddle is: Fire.

And today’s mind bender:
I pass before the sun, but make no shadow, what am I?

26 Days and a wake up...