Tuesday, April 27, 2010

All That I am.


There is something very humbling about not having an actual job or income for 5 months. I knew that my 6 month trip to England to spend some quality time with Helen would not be with out a cost. Financially it was a very foolish thing to do. I can't express how lucky I am to have someone love me the way she does. With out her support and that of her family this trip would not have been possible.

I am not complaining, I was very lucky as previously mentioned, I found a volunteer job as a News reader at a local station, (which eventually grew into two shows a week with Helen and I discussing Films and the music surrounding them.) Which allows me to do something with the ample amount of time one finds when he doesn't have a job.

It sounds ridiculous but really I just miss having money to purchase stupid things with. I haven't bought a DVD in over 5 months. (If this doesn't sound shocking you obviously have no idea who I am.) I want to buy little gifts and flowers for Helen, things that if I had a job I would do with out a thought. I want to be able to take the woman I love and the family that has stood behind us to a nice meal or a night out on the town.

I have never been what I would call financially stable but I have, for the majority of my life, kept my head above water. I have one month left in this beautiful and amazing country, and I am lucky to have a job lined up back home for when I do arrive. A job that I hope I do well enough to excel at.

This post isn't funny or insightful, it is just thoughts that are running around my head.

Helen says I have become very quiet over that last couple of weeks. I hadn't noticed a difference until she brought it to my attention. My whole life the only time I was quiet or reserved was when I didn't feel a need or necessity to perform. I am truly comfortable here. I can't describe how amazing it is to groggily reach out in a half sleeping slumber to find someone reaching out for you.

I can't tell you how lucky I am, or how lucky I feel, because if i attempted to put it into words I fear it would have less effect. I love her, with all that I am.

Random Fact: The picture above is of Warwick Castle, one of the recent amazing places I have seen in the time that I have been here. (It is older than my country, as I am constantly reminded.)

2 comments:

Helen E. Abbott said...

I love you

Anonymous said...

Oh!! Adam!! (Sorry!!! - James!!!)

We are so very happy for you!!!!!

You don't have to attempt to put it in words for us because we know exactly what you are feeling, since we have had it for 21 years and I'm reasonably sure your mom and dad have it too.

We love you so very much, and we are sure that we will love Helen too.

Love,

Gram & Gramps