Sunday, May 21, 2006

Prelude To A Bitch Slap...

I often wonder if any of the authors that I enjoy so much ever had a life half as crazy and distracting as mine. I don’t claim to be in their league, though I do hope to be one day. I don’t know about you but when I think of Dean Koontz, or Harlan Coben or Stephen King at work I picture them in their home office typing away on their latest adventure. I know Harlan has three children and I can almost see them standing at his doorway waiting to tell him about their day at school. Dean Koontz has a dog named Trixie (a golden lab, I believe.) that is (as I picture it) asleep at his feet, looking up occasionally hoping for some little tid bit of his half eaten lunch. As for Stephen King, I can’t help but picture him in a dark room with horror movies or eerie music playing in the back ground, as if Maine isn’t creepy enough, he needs to add to the ambiance of his story. His Wife Tabby humming to her self on her side of their office. (She is an author as well.) As clearly as I see the three of them in their everyday lives, I envy their assumed serenity. Currently this struggling author is sitting in a folding chair with his lap top in his lap, (Imagine that!) At 6:30 in the morning in the same clothes he wore to the gym earlier this morning. The Invader had another night off last night and is sleeping five feet to his left. If I was just a tad more obnoxious I would be tossing some of the club crackers that are sitting next to me at him while he slumbers. I woke up this morning at 5 am on my day off to go to the gym with Screaming Testicle. Who at the last minute decided he was not going as he had no sleep last night. Normally this would of been the only excuse I needed to crawl back into my bed and try and catch a few more hours of desperately needed sleep. Today however before I had time to talk my self out of it I headed over to the gym and did my chest and abs work out. Bow at my self discipline... Bow! LOL So I feel kind of bad because I am sort of to blame for Screaming Testicle getting no sleep. Last night I was sitting on the steps in front of his room, with my back to his door and his roommate (Big Red) wanted to get in. I told him if he could open the door with me sitting there he was more than welcome to go in. Apparently he thought he would need t o exert his self and he yanked on the door handle. The door it self did not budge, (I must of been a great door stop in a former life.) The door handle however snapped. Which means that I had to go over to the billeting office and request a work order to have it fixed. As of 7:35 am that has not yet happened. I just had an amusing argument with Not Law and the Invader, apparently The Invader is vexed by my music being played at night. At any other time I would be using head phones but as I use the music to fall asleep it is very uncomfortable to wear them, and as I am very accident prone it really just seems to be a bad idea to wear something that could possibly choke me while I’m sleeping. Now I want you to understand it isn’t as though my music is being played at some unbearable decibel. It is just loud enough to hear, its on the fourth bar which depending on the time of night if you breathe too heavy you are no longer able to hear the music. The Invader is an only child and has yet to learn that he is no longer going to be coddled as he has been his whole life. This is even more of a problem as Not Law and I don’t get along and The Invader has a sympathizer who out ranks me. The argument did not go bad as it could have but I did manage to get Not Law’s panties all in a bunch. (I have a particular smirk that he interprets as disrespectful; his powers of interpretation are amazing.) Screaming Testicle who was there as well. (We do this so that a soldier is treated fairly, two soldiers and at least two NCOs any time there is going to be someone of higher rank speaking to someone of lower rank, in this case there were three NCOs but the third was just there in body the one time I looked at him he looked as though he was wondering if he had left his coffee maker on.) ST Asked me afterward why I didn’t point out any of the issues I had with The Invader. I explained that it really matters very little if I think the guy is dirty once I go on leave everyone else will see for themselves. If ever I have met some one that deserved to be bitched slapped more, I do not recall them. I can not believe that by this time next week I will be in beautiful Hawaii.... Thank Gawd!!!
Riddle Me This:
Answer to the previous Riddle...
A Map...

And Today’s Riddle is as follows
I have a hundred legs but can not stand, a long neck but no head; I ease the maids life.
What Am I???

4 Days and a wake up… can you feel the excitement???

Carpe Diem!

1 comment:

Gram & Gramps said...

Gramps says it is a broom.

Excitement is keeping me from getting anything done - like putting things away from the show, cleaning house, etc.

Keep safe.

Love you!!!

Gram & Gramps