Merry Christmas, And Body Disfiguration...

Merry Christmas Everyone... Merry Christmas...

       So I often wonder if I was able to write a blog everyday or every few days would it be as interesting now as it was two years ago. Now trust me my life is not as boring as I would have you all believe, but I no longer live in a foreign country, nor is the possibility of my life being threatened on a semi-regular basis. I have my moments, sporadic little things that I do that are spontaneous or unexpected but in all honesty they are few and far between. This month for example after one of my roommates had an unexpected break up we decided we should go out and do something to help cheer her up a little. This started out as an idea to maybe go to a quiet dinner and maybe see a movie, and turned into her getting a second tattoo and yours truly finally getting his first. You read that right, i have permanently disfigured or marked my temple. (I’m hoping that doesn’t sound as perverted to you all as it does to me.) My tattoo is discreet, as i have a job that doesn’t exactly like to advertise their employee’s youthful spontaneity. It is on my left arm just below my shoulder. The tattoo itself is comprised of two opposing blue waves crashing into an ancient looking black coin, engraved onto the coin is my Zodiac sign (Which is Aquarius) It honestly did not hurt nearly as bad as I had originally thought it would. It only took about an hour. I am going in a week from Sunday to get it touched up a bit.  Those of you who have known me for a while are aware I have wanted a tattoo for almost ten years, but always managed to talk myself out of it whenever the opportunity presented itself. After this exciting little moment i thought things were going to calm down a bit but of course life is never that simple, or at least my life is never that simple. Of course there was Christmas shopping to finish and friends to make happy. 

       After spending far too much on Christmas I was made aware of a computer program that my company offers, In a nut shell the Bank gives me a loan to purchase a computer without looking at my credit sore/report. (Which is the only reason anyone would ever give me a loan...LOL) As i write this I am using my brand new computer. Its an IMac 24 inch desktop computer... and its amazing... It really is obscenely large, but then the same could be said about my..... eh hem.... i was going to say my stomach wow we have some dirty minds in the reading audience you should all be ashamed of yourselves really!!! Learning to use the Mac has been interesting. the mouse for example doesn’t have a right button or a left for that matter. the entire mouse itself is one button. It doesn’t sound like a big deal but for any of you who use Word as your spell check imagine trying to correct misspelled words with out that button. Another amusing little oddity is that for what ever reason my computer is not fond of microsoft ran web sights. (and in typing that my spell check recognizes the word Imac but not microsoft, LOL)  Needless to say there have been a few hiccups along the way... but the computer is awesome, it has  a ton of memory so I am able to download more music and movies and so forth... LOL I am so tech savvy LOL!!!... Of course now that i have a new computer i want the Iphone... but i think baby steps are probably best.... but man i want that Iphone it’s just so freaking cool... hmm maybe since the Computer was my Christmas present to myself i’ll purchase the Iphone as my birthday present. it’s a thought anyway...

      Onto more socially relevant things, this past Saturday we had yet another party (the more surprising information is that the week prior to that we actually went to a party that we didn’t throw.) This weeks party had a Black & White theme which was actually a lot of fun. The basic idea is that all guests were required to wear what ever they wanted as long as it consisted of only black and white. I was actually impressed that almost every guest did as instructed there were a few who didn’t (two girls for example that guests we sort of new invited after meeting them at a local drive thru... shrug.) For the most part though all our guests did really well... most of them dressed very nice... I was in one of my sarcastic comedy tees and slacks... My shirt was a big hit as it was as per usual completely inappropriate. There was a minor little bit of drama but nothing like the aforementioned Halloween party. 

  

     The drama consisted of one particular idiot that was so blitzed drunk he couldn’t keep track of his belongings, he lost his wallet and thought he lost his cell. So after he went around and rudely accused practically everyone of thievery and started moving furniture around we turned off the music and called his cell. We heard it ringing so everyone got quiet and yeah we found it.... IN HIS FREAKING POCKET!!! I told him that as I was the most sober person at the party and it was my house that I was kicking him out due to complete stupidity on his part... I was not very kind to him at all but i truly feel he deserved it. After that he didn’t leave, apparently he thought i was kidding. He told me he felt like an idiot i told him to go with that feeling.  The rest of the party was pretty much uneventful. Everyone finally left around 5 am... sheesh... I need to institute a 2 am closing time for these parties... I’m getting too old to wait for these young sprites to get bored enough to go home.... 

   Christmas eve was pretty much uneventful, Today though i went with one of the roommates to her parents house in Seattle and spent the day with them... It was a lot of fun mostly we played the WII and teased one another... It was pretty much a great day until about in hour ago when something happened. I can’t talk about it now but i’ll tell you more next week..... I hope you all Had a very Merry Christmas and I’ll see you back here in about a week....

And Your Random Fact....

Karaoke means "empty orchestra" in Japanese. which is odd because my favorite joke is that Karaoke means @ss Hole in Japanese. I'm actually a little sad to learn this... 

Happy Thanksgiving or Vices, Vixens and the Vatican

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!! I apologize for being a couple of days late. So I do not have too much to report. The roommate situation has for the most part calmed it self down. I do have that feeling deep in my bones that a Drama Storm is rapidly approaching. I think this past month has been my brief experiment with some well known vices. There was some drinking (which for the most part is rare if not unheard of with me.) Some Gambling… (There are a lot of Indian casinos around town and a couple of the legally aged roommates and I decided to go check one out.) And well I don’t know if affairs of the heart are considered a vice but I would be remiss if I didn’t mention my recent explorations of the fairer sex. (I realize this is sort of random but have any of the guys out there ever had an argument with a woman where you won with out cheating? They are often referred to as the fairer sex, and yet tend to fight unfair at most opportunities, now I don’t mean unfair as in bringing a gun to knife fight. I have met a few women that knew how to say one thing in so many different ways that you never really know where you stand.) I think until things settle down with the aspect of my life concerning women that I will hold any additional comments on the subject. I do want to speak directly to a couple of people who appear to get annoyed when they find them selves the subject of one of my many rants. If you do not want to find your exploits highlighted and or commented on, do not do things that annoy me. If you are an ex-girlfriend it is not your place to assume I am trying to date every girl I speak to. One might inquire as to why you care one way or another. I have mentioned the Post-relationship Anti-James Club previously in my blogs mostly in an attempt to see the lighter side of bitter break ups. What I find so amusing is how when your speaking directly to me you go on and on about how much the drama bothers you, and yet when I’m out of sight you seem unable to avoid adding to the very drama you seem to despise. I don’t for a second think you are alone in this; I just thought I would point it out.
And now for something completely different, This Thursday I am going to see Dane Cook live (For those of you who don’t know Dane Cook is a stand up comedian that is very popular right now.) He has been in quite a few movies you might have seen, most recently Employee of the Month with Jessica Simpson, Mr. Brooks with Kevin Costner (great title by the way!) and Good Luck Chuck with Jessica Alba. I am really, really excited.
As of today there are 31 shopping days left before Greed Day. Is anyone else done with Christmas yet???? Hope you all have a great month.

Random Fact of the Blog:
The smallest state in the world besides Vatican City is Monaco; located on the French Mediterranean coast. Monaco is a tiny 0.7 square miles in area. Ironically, Monaco also has the more millionaires per capita than any other nation in the world. Most likely due to its size, Monaco is also the most densely packed country on Earth.

Happy Halloween or Satan Tastes Trees!

You would not believe how stiff and sore I am right now. My shoulder keeps popping, and my hip needs to pop but it wont so it is currently a constant source of pain. This past Saturday my house hosted a Halloween Costume Party. I think it went pretty well, it was amusing if nothing else and it definitely went better then the party the week before which I pretty much avoided as much as I could. This is due mostly to the fact that most of these parties are populated by pre-twenty something’s and barely legal drunkards. Last weeks party ended with a short yelling match between my self and another roommate at 4 in the morning, She and her guests were being louder than I thought was absolutely necessary at that particular point in the morning. The part that annoyed me more than anything else was that my roommate was one of the loudest of the group and yet one of her guests was shushing people for over 2 hours. How sad is it when your guests are more considerate than your roommates? So after a mildly uneventful week (There was some mild drama with a former girlfriend, but everything worked itself out in the end.) As stated previously we had a costume party Saturday evening, I think that we are very lucky this party could have easily grown out of control. We were lucky that while people were constantly arriving, less than half stayed for the whole party. It seemed as though every time I looked up from what ever drunken person I was monitoring, there was an entire ocean of faces I didn’t recognize. There was a girl dancing in her bra which as you know is never a bad thing. There were quite a few skimpy costumes, and even a few that showed people actually put effort into their costume, my costume was more of a prop. I had a giant magnet with little baby chicks sewn to it, I.E. “A Chick Magnet”. The costume worked out really well for me because it allowed me to dress normal and I didn’t have to wear a mask. (With the possible exception of my Spider-Man mask, I pretty much do everything in my power to avoid wearing anything over my face, I would like to pretend it’s because of how hot it gets or because I don’t like when my face gets all sweaty. But I think we all know it’s because it’s harder to shove food in my face through a latex mask.) The Roommates Costumes were as follows, Down Stairs consisted of an adorable Raggedy Anne costume (by far the cutest costume of the evening) A very Sexy Bat Girl, and what I’m guessing was a topless male roommate. (He had no shirt a majority of the evening, but no other identifiable costume to speak of either.) Upstairs we had a Sexy Witch and a Vivacious Vampire. As well as the previously mentioned Chick Magnet of yours truly. As to the reason why I am so sore this would be because of a guest appropriately dressed as Satan, His girlfriend was the previously mentioned girl dancing in her bra. Satan apparently had too much to drink and spent about an hour and a half outside vomiting, I informed the topless wonder about his situation and she went out to help him, we then spent the next hour trying to convince him to go up stairs and go to sleep on the couch that I had prepared for him. This is the point when things started getting rather stupid. The whole time he was crying and vomiting and basically blubbering like an idiot. All the while telling her that she should leave him, she could do so much better than a guy like him. (The obvious fact that I agree with him could go with out saying.) He kept saying he couldn’t walk because he was going to vomit again. Then after an attempt to pick him up he ran past the back yard and down the hill behind our house. (I don’t know if I have mentioned this before but our house is on the front Acre of a 7 acre spread. The Hill behind our house is more or less a 60-70 foot downward slope. Covering the entire slope are these thick thorny low bushes… and they are very thorny!) Satan slipped and fell (as it was raining earlier in the day.) slid a good ten to fifteen feet down into the thorns, being eloquent as most drunken fools are he commented on his situation. “It’s all pokey down here…” (If I’m lying I’m dying.) His girlfriend (by the end of this particular evening should have been nominated for the Girlfriend of the year award.) followed him down into the thorns. Mind you he is fully dressed in a long sleeve shirt, full pants and huge freaking boots. She was in a sleeveless Tee (about in hour prior to all this excitement she had put her shirt back on and given her bra to some guys who were plotting to embarrass the unfortunate fellow who had the misfortune to be the first person to pass out at the party, in women’s undergarments and in permanent marker about how much he enjoyed the male anatomy.) pants and socks. Yours truly was wearing an under shirt, a button up short sleeve a pair of jeans and flips-flops. Obviously falling down the thorny blackberry hill wasn’t high on my list of things to do… but sigh, what can you do.? In my defense I watched them from the top of the hill for a good ten to fifteen minutes, because well thorns hurt and I wanted as little to do with them as possible. But he was continuing to be belligerent and then when she finally had decided to give up on him, and come back up to me she started removing his very real knives… Apparently he had four of them on him… (Can you imagine how annoyed I would have been if I was trying to help this guy and he stabbed me? I mean honestly… Sheesh!) As She was removing his knives he started pushing her and trying to hit her, this is where my concern for her outweighed my concern for the thorns. I climbed/slid/fell down to them and some how managed to get my left leg caught in a hole underneath his body while my right leg was at an uncomfortable right angle around the girl. I helped her as much as I could, for this I received not one, not two, but three swift kicks in the chest, with his very heavy boots… (Thank you ever so much Doc Martin…Sigh) I put my over shirt on the girl because she was freezing and then did my best to pull this guy up the hill, mind you with him fighting me the whole way… Now an important piece of information that hasn’t been given at this point is Satan’s Physical appearance. When standing he was between 6’1” and 6’3” and easily 230lbs, our sleeveless sock less wonder girl stood at 5’3” and maybe 95 lbs soaking wet. He fell again and the girl was in tears so I hit him in the gut and told him that we were going up the hill whether he liked it or not, at this point in a partial moment of clarity he stood up and scaled the hill, I half carried the wonder girl up to the top and then went after him fearing he would run out into the street at the front of the house. I caught up to him (five points for the agility of the fat sober guy) wrapped his arm over my shoulder and half drug him to the front door, his girlfriend and I made a couple of attempts to get him up the three steps to the front door but being the arse that he was he made it very difficult, he threw her off and flailed his way out of my grip, At this point I was fed up and hit him solidly in the jaw, followed by a shoulder tackle into the Evergreen hedge bush things (They are like 10 feet tall and we have a 15 foot wall of them in front of the house upstairs. And two days later you can still see the imprint we made.) He was trying to get up but he was completely stuck underneath me with my elbow under his jaw lodged in his throat. This is when he said the funniest thing I had heard the whole night, in a very whiny and pathetically strained voice he said “I taste tree!” It took everything in my power not to burst out laughing at that point. I pulled him up and after much less struggle managed to force him inside and onto the waiting couch. He spent the remainder of the late morning in his girlfriends arms clutching a pink bucket with which he continued to vomit into, to her credit his girlfriend stayed by him the whole night running her fingers through his hair and comforting him as he whimpered. At one point before I headed to bed, she looked up at me and mouthed that she had to use the restroom, with a heavy sigh I helped her wiggle out and took her place holding his head and basically being their for him, she returned a few minutes later and we did the wiggle once more. Four hours later she had to wrestle him out of bed as six of the people that had stayed the night all had to be to work. I remained in my warm bed with a less than warm smile across my lips. When I finally did get up I saw some of the after math of the night before, I am guessing they didn’t have enough time to clean up after themselves, so his pink vomit bucket was in the middle of the room. (As you can imagine the living room reeked to high hell!) On the lighter side there were pieces of the tree all over the couch and floor. I’m guessing he was rather covered in tree parts. Cleaning up after the party was highly amusing and didn’t take too terribly long, some how there was Pico de gallo all over the kitchen cupboards and in the bathroom as well. I think I have rambled on for long enough I hope you all Have a wonderful Halloween. And I’ll talk at you soon.


Random Fact of the Day:
On October 31st after the crops were all harvested and stored for the long winter the cooking fires in the homes would be extinguished. The Druids, the Celtic priests, would meet in the hilltop in the dark oak forest (oak trees were considered sacred). The Druids would light new fires and offer sacrifices of crops and animals. As they danced around the fires, the season of the sun passed and the season of darkness would begin.
When the morning arrived the Druids would give an ember from their fires to each family who would then take them home to start new cooking fires. These fires would keep the homes warm and free from evil spirits.
The November 1st festival was called Samhain (pronounced "sow-en"). The festival would last for 3 days. Many people would parade in costumes made from the skins and heads of their animals. This festival would become the first Halloween.

I.D. Theft, Crack Head Clues And A Robbery

So I have this funny little habit that I have picked up while working at the bank. I randomly hold peoples ID’s hostage. I don’t do it on purpose, although I think my co-workers are starting to think I might be. It has happened at least 5 times. And I really do feel terrible each time I do it. I just am so busy focusing on making sure the money is correct that I forget that I am supposed to give them their identification back. (Although yesterday I managed to give someone his id back and didn’t give him his money… the funny things I do… How often do you see a banker chasing someone trying to give them money?) Shrug. So my new living situation is interesting, on the one hand I have one roommate who is probably the sweetest person I have ever known. (she is too young so don’t go getting any idea’s) and on the other I have someone that I can see has a good heart, but it is hidden by her complete lack of consideration for others. The things this person does and the way she behaves is at times incredibly shocking to me, not to mention aggravating, but I think that everything will eventually work it’s self out as things have a habit of doing. And then downstairs I have two more roommates, a female who has a sense of humor similar to mine, (I think one day we are going to make the world cry as part of our diabolical plan) and then the most recent addition to our house. An older gentleman like myself, and I haven’t really spent too much time getting to know him as of yet. I only met him for the first time Monday night; he is thirty and has a ten year old. (His child won’t be staying with us, so I know even less about him.) Supposedly there are plans to have another female move in downstairs. I have met her once, she seemed nice enough, time will tell.
This past weekend was rather eventful; the roomies threw yet another party. (Our 3rd in the two weeks I have lived there.) All things considered it was a relatively small party with just a few people getting stupidly drunk. There were people passed out and vomiting inside a locked bathroom and other people drunkenly making out and some people that drunkenly set out on a pilgrimage down the very dark street at 2 in the morning. (Oh the fun we have.) For those of you who haven’t figured it out yet, I rarely if ever drink, there are the few occasions, (such as my two week trip to Hawaii) and once in a while if I’m not planning on going anywhere, or if I am not responsible for anyone else. I like to make sure that there is at least one person that is able to drive to a hospital if the need arises.

In other new house related news, we have been having some really odd experiences with crack heads, “Let me ‘splain, no there is too much, I’ll sum up” (It’s a quote from the Princess Bride) anyway a week after sleeping in the new house, at around 2:30 in the morning there was a random knock at the front door and then at my window (the closest window to the front door) when I answered the door there was a very frail woman possibly in her late thirties to early forties, that was crying about some letter that she had in her hands that she had supposedly gotten in the mail that day, (Crack Head Clue number one, it was a Sunday night) Through the screen door I talked to her and let her know that no one by the name of Darren currently resided in the house, (turns out Darren lived in this same house over 12 years ago, Crack Head Clue number 2!) She asked to come in and I less than politely said no… (I reminded her that it was two thirty in the morning and I wasn’t going to let her inside my house. It was probably said more colorfully than that, but this is a family blog.)After we closed the door we called the police and I went downstairs to check on the other roommate, to make sure she was alright, the cops came and we found out that they were very familiar with our house, (including the downstairs being a separate apartment!) Apparently back when our former mystery tenant Darren lived in the house he was dealing narcotics and the local PD had a nice little file on our address. (Imagine my Joy!) The cops looked around and searched for our little crack lady but apparently she had disappeared… About a week after that while I was asleep on the couch at 6 o’clock in the evening we had a different set of crack heads pull their vehicle into our driveway and look around, apparently they knocked on the door as well but I was completely unaware of it, luckily one of the girl’s brothers happened to come over at the same time and chased them off. Our downstairs roommate has had two experiences that she is convinced were crack heads but the evidence is circumstantial at best, the first was that her T.V. randomly turned itself off. She is convinced that the crack heads have her remote. (She bought the TV without a remote.) And the second experience is even vaguer; somehow a very large pair of shoes (size 12 and ½) randomly appeared in her foyer. She is convinced that the crack heads left them in her apt after their last excursion… (I like that she is way more paranoid than I could ever be.) There isn’t too much else going on in my life. I am still working both Jobs, all the while trying to figure out the whole dating situation outside of the bar scene. I have recently been addicted to a show on DVD that is no longer on TV, Veronica Mars it’s a Noir show set in high school, it’s really well written and has some awesome actors, if any of you out there are Fans of TV on DVD I would definitely recommend it, though I am warning you it is highly addictive! I think I have babbled on enough for this week I hope you are all doing well and I will talk at you soon.


Random Piece of Humor:
Bank Robbery
A couple of dumb hicks from West Virginia decide that they are tired of being poor and plan to go into Wheeling to rob a bank. They practice safe cracking for months until they are able to open any safe around.
Late one night they drive into Wheeling and go into the first bank they see. When inside to their surprise, they see dozens of little safes instead of one large one. They open one of the safes and inside they find a container of vanilla pudding but no money.
They eat the pudding and continue to open one safe after another only to find a container of vanilla pudding in each one. Around daybreak they still haven't found any money but are quite full from eating all the pudding so they decide to go home.
The next day the headline of the Wheeling Gazette reads "Sperm Bank Robbed"

Storage Sheds, A Cinemaholic and He's a She.

I absolutely hate the "There is someone out there for you... you just have to keep looking"and my personal favorite "Trust in God he has a plan for you..........Bull!!!. LOL Maybe He spilled coffee on the plan. and some of the ink got all blurry.(LMAO) If you can’t tell by the way this rant is starting I am feeling a little down about the whole being single again thing. Although to put a positive spin on things my muse seems to be inspired by my misery. (Some writers have beautiful Muse’s who inspire them with happiness, insight and fantasy) See what happens when you put your hobbies on the back burners kids??? To ramble on a bit more about my muse I don’t know how you all picture a Muse, but my general idea is some wispy beautiful woman with light flowing hair, except that when I try and conjure up an image of my own muse I keep seeing that creepy chick that comes out of the TV in those scary RING movies.. LOL (That is an awesome image for anyone who has seen those movies.)
So onto more important things, I moved most of my crap today, although very little of it went on to my new home, ( I ended up putting a lot of things in storage.) I just want you to know that storage type places are a genius way to make money, especially if you are a parent (because you are already used to storing some ones nonsensical crap that you don’t want.) The reason I bring this up is because as I was loading my miscellaneous nonsensical crap into my little 5ft x 5ft cubby, I realized that while I was paying 50 dollars a month for my little hole, others were paying up to and more than twice that for more space, and this one little spot, had something like 4 hundred units at least. Even charging everyone the bare minimum of 50 dollars in netting you upwards of 2000 dollars a month, that is the bare minimum and not to far off from what I make a month now. And I work on my feet for 10 hours a day, and all you would have to do is hand some one a key, they aren’t even liable to protect your stuff, you store at your own risk, so they hand you a key send you to your designated cubby, and then they go back to their baseball game or what ever (I’m guessing the very large woman that helped me was annoyed with me because I was keeping her from her bon bons and “stories” or Oprah or whatever it is that fat lazy people watch at 3 in the afternoon.) and to top it off, if you don’t pay on the first, they start charging fees. ( up to 80 dollars by the 21st and if you don’t pay it then the have the option to auction your belongings.) am I the only person that thinks this whole storage thing is a scam? I mean seriously.... LOL
Moving into the new place is going to be a bit bumpy, i'm not actually able to be there until Saturday but I had to start getting my stuff there as today is the first day off I have had in ages. The room is really small but it will do, the two girls I’ll be living with (don’t get any ideas) seem really sweet and like they both have their heads on right. The house is really nice and it has a yard. So that is really good, the fact that it is only 6 minutes from work is awesome. (And the biggest attraction of all.) So I loaded all my dvd’s up today and you would not believe how many boxes it took me to cart away all my movies, (two huge foot lockers and 3 2ft square boxes.) I am starting to think that I may have a problem. Do you think there is a 12 step program for someone addicted to movies??? Hello my name is James and I am a cinemaholic.
Is it weird that I don’t know how to meet people? I mean I have been going to the movies a lot recently, in fact I’ve gone 3 out of the last 5 times by myself. Whenever I am by myself I try and make conversation with the people next to me before the movie starts. (Loner movie goers like myself know this as the awkward time before the lights dim where everyone can see that you can’t even get a date to go sit and not talk to you.) Usually I make some crack about how they must realize that as the fat person closest to them, I am authorized at least three very awkward bathroom passes where they must get up so that I can get by. (I usually get pretty miffed if people don’t laugh at that comment because while I am not the smallest guy in the theater I didn’t roll in in the electric go cart because I have eaten my self so large that I don’t even have the ability to walk any longer either) but anyway back to my lack of knowing how to move past the corny one liners into intelligent conversation. Yesterday, before I went to the movies by myself, I went and had a massage. (Wow is it me or am I becoming more gay as this goes on?) I was sitting in the waiting room and there was what I assumed was a guy (I’ll explain that in a sec) sitting a couple of seats away from me, and I just couldn’t bring my self to say anything. After a few minutes a very attractive tiny little thing comes in and kicks the foot of this other patron, I assumed that either this was a boyfriend or sibling. And smiled at her and then to the half a sleep person, and got literally no response from either one of them. A few minutes later the little sprite returns and asks me to follow her, so I go into the back answer a few questions disrobe. (Always, always awkward, I have had massages many times and with out fail I am always nervous. It isn’t sexual at all and yet I always have THAT fear, what if in the middle of the massage little jimmy decides to POP up and check out the scenery???? luckily I am usually so stressed about it that it doesn’t happen, not to say it never has, but I digress.) Anyway she starts the massage and is trying to initiate a conversation and eventually after I give up with my yes and no answers we began talking about names. (This happens a lot being as I have so many and I bring up how few my brothers have.) At this point she brings up that she thought her twin sister always had the prettiest name. Until she changed it...... along with her sex. (If I’m lying I'm dying) Apparently the aforementioned patron used to be the sprites twin sister but is currently taking hormones to become a man.... WTF!!! Why do these weird things always happen to me seriously???? So my question is how is knowing this supposed to aid in my relaxation? The reason I brought this whole ordeal up was to share that weirdness with you and to whine about how sore I am, as tiny as she was that little girl was just vicious, my whole back aches... I feel as though I was hit by a truck. she beat the living tar out of me i am so sore, seriously. She couldn't have weighed over 90 lbs and i swear to god I've been in pain all day, god I'm a wimp. (At one point i had to tell her she was hurting me,"ughhh so thats my ow noise."- direct quote. good thing i don't have a very large ego...) Well I hope this not so little rant brought a smile to all of your faces... tune in next time...


Random Fact of the Blog:
One of the common recurring characters of the Sandbox Files has gotten engaged... feel free to try and guess I’ll let you know who next time...

And this should bother a few people,
I waited in line for over an hour Monday night to get a copy of Halo 3, managed to get a limited edition copy, and here it is 3 days later and I haven’t even opened the darn thing yet... mwa ha ha ha, there are people everywhere trying to get a copy and mine is collecting dust.

Rembering September 11th...

Hello True Believers,
So a lot has changed in the past two months, I have started a new job, I am getting ready to move to a new city, I have broken up with yet another girl. ( I am starting to wonder what it is that I am looking for. Because it has with out a doubt been me that has had the most issue with these amazing women over the last year.)So first of all, I want to tell you about my new Job. I am now officially an Anchor Bank employee. My official title is Sales Associate/New Accounts Representative Anchor Bank is a local Washington bank that serves most of western Washington with a total of 21 branches. The Bank has been around since 1907, and has recently been growing like wild fire. I was very unhappy at my previous job even though I had been promoted twice within the nine months that I had been there. I had decided to start looking for a better job with more potential for pride than working at Wal~Mart was ever going to give me. I want to thank my family for this push as it was mainly them that made me realize how unhappy I was during the weekend of my uncle’s wedding back in July (You can only suffer through so many “….yes the middle boy, he couldn’t be here he’s in Japan right now serving in the Navy, and the youngest yes he’s a Ranger in the Army, and the oldest, James? …Well he was in the Army, and now he works at Wal~Mart.” Before you realize there has to be something better you can do to make money.) I’m not complaining really, but I did get that feeling the whole weekend. This job is different in a lot of ways than anything I have ever done, there is still a lot of customer service obviously but there are so many things you have to remember it can be a little over whelming at times. But enough about that, I hope you all took a moment today to remember all those people who lost their lives six years ago. I can not believe it has been six years already. I was talking with one of my coworkers about it (he was 13 when it happened.) he didn’t realize at the time how big of a deal it was at first it was only later that day when he was at school and his teachers were discussing it. That it dawned on him how the world would see that one day for years to come. As far as the whole me moving thing is concerned I am moving primarily because I have decided that I am not a big fan of commuting an hour one way twice a day five days a week, for a number of reasons the largest being my current cash flow doesn’t like to pay for gas that often. I am moving to a city by the name of Covington, Wa. It seems nice enough. It kind of reminds me of a slightly more developed Leona Valley. (which I realize will only make sense to about a handful of people but suffice to say a small fairly well-to-do community.) I’ll be renting a room again as I am currently, the biggest difference will be the room will be a much smaller living space. And instead of living with people that I have known for years I’ll be living with virtual strangers… if nothing else it should be interesting. I’ll keep you all as updated as often as I am able. (This as we know, means not very often…) Until then keep those families who lost their loved ones six years ago in your hearts and prayers.
Random Fact of the Day:
NBC’s Premier Week is two weeks from yesterday!!!! I am very excited!!! All new Heroes and other shows!!!!!

Just A Quick Note

Just a quick note I wanted to let you all know that things at work have come to a head with the little blond one. Due to the fact that she hasn’t been able to maintain a professional appearance at work I had to take our little issue to higher management. She and the Mo-Hawk Idiot continue to start and perpetuate rumors, so last night I approached a higher member of management and sat down with them to explain the issue. Taking their advice into consideration I have removed the last few of my blogs from public view. If you would like to know the full story you can email me.
In other news my uncle’s marriage went smashingly, I had the opportunity to hang with my new girlfriend sans the work drama, my little brother, his new girlfriend My favorite cousin and my mother not to mention the rest of my family which I think really recharged my emotional batteries. Things around here are a little heated but I don’‘t really know why, I’m sure I will find out eventually, and now I am off to see the new Harry Potter movie, on Friday the thirteenth, really not one scary movie out how sad is that? Drop me a line if you missed the last three blogs so I can bring you up to speed.

A Fitting Quote:

Let's face it...most relationships you have in life don't work out.

Alex Bennett

I Don't Always Have The Nicest Things To Say About My Roommate Either!

I swear I might live with one of the most annoying people on the planet. She has no consideration for others what so ever, she turns everything into a huge dramatic scene if she starts to think that maybe just maybe she isn’t wallowing enough in her own self pity. If it isn’t already obvious I am not her biggest fan, I really hope that these blogs don’t turn into a series of rants directed at whomever happened to piss in my cheerio’s prior to me sitting down to write, although I must admit the last three have been primarily that. Sigh. What is a man nearing 30 to do? Holy Crap am I the only person frightened by the prospect that I am almost thirty. On the upside in a little over 7 years I’ll be eligible to run for president. If that isn’t a scary thought than I don’t know what is. So anyway getting back on track to the Wailing Banshee as I have decided to name her, Let me fill you in on the reason she is here. She is RFG’s Sister in law and she was having some trouble back in Ohio. I don’t really know the whole story but her babies daddy wasn’t helping her and she didn’t have the motivation to help herself. So sometime back in late February she and her two children moved into our house, Since she has been here one of our other roommates have moved out. (There were many reasons but I think primarily as she lived closest to the brood they were making her crazy.) I want you to understand these two children at first glance are possibly the cutest you could ever meet. As long as at first glance they are sleeping, they are two and three years old a boy and girl respectively. The little boy has a few medical issues and is definitely the most tolerable of his family, but then how can anyone not love a tiny little two year old? The little girl stops being cute the minute she opens her mouth, she has learned from her mother that all she needs to do to get what ever she wants is to Yell, scream, cry and whine. And I’m pretty sure that In the four months that she has been here that is all I have seen her do aside from eating and sleeping. These three have managed to alienate the rest of the household to where no one wants anything to do with them including but not limited to Wailing Banshee’s own sister who’s only crime in this whole experience was trying to once again save her little sister from the mistakes she continuously made. WB is one of those types of people that I have written about previously, the type of person that thrives off being the victim and being taken care of no matter how bad she might make someone else look. A classic example of this would be about a month ago when for the fourth time she asked me to watch her kids on my weekend off so she and her beau of the week could go out drinkning and dancing, and I told her I would do it this last time but that was it. She told her sister that I flipped out on her and went all ape shit. So when her sister found this out she was obviously very upset (as some of you know she also has a child whom I watch frequently.) She assumed I meant all of the children and was ready to pack up all my crap and have it waiting for me outside when I got home from work. All this because one woman can’t be responsible enough to watch her own children. She is truly a constant thorn in my side. The reason that she has me so wound up today is really mostly to do with the complete lack of consideration for others that i mentioned earlier. As i mentioned previously i was promoted this past weekend, because of that promotion my days off this week were a little screwy. I ended up having a split weekend, Sunday and today (Thursday) i had planned on sleeping in a little but unfortunately for me she was blasting her stereo from the time she got up. The woman is loud in general but for some reason she feels the need to be surrounded by even more, much like pigpen and his ever present cloud of dirt. (That was a PEANUT"S reference for any of you keeping track.) The funny part of her being so loud and inconsiderate is that she almost missed a flower delivery guy, The music was up so loud she didn't hear him knock or that he had rung the door bell three times, the only reason i heard the bell at all was that i happened to be in the laundry when he arrived and thought i had heard it go off.
That is enough of that for one day, The new job is coming along nicely, it was a tad stressful at first i wanted so badly to prove that i could do the job correctly, that i think i was over stressing myself. I would like to take this moment to say that if you play with fire you will get burned. Just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean that it wont. Saying things like "The person i respect most in my life is gump because he hasn't tried to take advantage of me." is pretty much tempting fate. News Flash he doesn't have to try you are doing it for him. I don't to ruffle feathers but that little bit just annoyed the piss out of me.

In other news I have the upcoming weekend off, it will be the first actual weekend i will have had off since store setup back in January. what ever shall i do with myself? if you have any ideas feel free to drop me a line or comment.

A Completely Random Quote,
So while i was looking around for random quotes today I found a website that specializes in the every mans quote, basically their belief is that celebrities aren't the only ones with something worth remembering to say.... a good example would be this....

Ever have one of those days when you realize you never wanted to be a responsible adult?

-- Steve Schwartz

If you would like to see more quotes go here http://quote.mattdm.org/

Happy Fathers Day & More Things I Want To Say.

Same shit different day,
I don’t know what I have to do to convince people that I am not worth talking about. I was in a relationship that didn’t work out, which makes me exactly the same as all these other hacks who have done nothing but converse and assume since I left my last blog. The only difference between my self and any other loser who has the misfortune to fall for the wrong woman is that A I tend to do it publicly and B I tend to do it frequently. Any one who has read any of my previous blogs has a clue that recently the only thing that inspires me to write is either something really good I.e. I meet a new girl or I get a job or what ever, or something that has me so aggravated that all I can do to contain and restrain myself is to vent. Sadly there has been less good recently than bad. I do have some good news I was promoted yesterday, I was a little afraid that I wasn’t going to get the position due to some of the drama that is currently surrounding myself and a few others. The pay increase isn’t huge but it is a step in the right direction and while my responsibilities have increased my level of control over my future has as well. I think it also makes my previous boss look good as well he has had 4 of his associate promoted in less than 6 months, obviously he is doing something right. I do want to say that I am considering deleting a few of my coworkers from my MYSPACE friend List do to the fact that at least one of you is the reason I am having so many problems. What ever I post is strictly for my venting purposes, if I have allowed you into my friend circle I at one time assumed I could trust you. The thing that really strikes me as funny is that while my last blog was very obviously directed at one particular person it was sort of heralded as the catch all for anger at a younger and obviously less mature generation. I had more than one person call me that had assumed I was talking directly to them, one of them even called me in tears telling me how much I had hurt her and how she couldn’t believe that I could be so cold. You know what, that really actually bothered me, I don’t ever purposely set out to upset someone, I even mentioned in the last blog that I knew I would get a lot of grief over the things I had said, but it was truly the only way for me to get it off my chest. I do want to say that the best way to not be a subject of my annoyance and a future focus of an annoyed rant is to refrain from doing anything that can be or even might be traced back to you, ( If some of you are as smart as you think you are you will take this as a warning) A really good example of this is if you are dating someone I know, do not text someone else that I know trying to flirt with her, just because it hasn’t came up yet doesn’t mean it wont. Girls talk a lot, and as much as I try to hide it I am very girly in many aspects. Another example, if you want information about me, ask me. Do not try and fish information out of others. News flash I know you are doing it because surprise, surprise people don’t enjoy being pumped for information. I do want to point out that as far as the second example is concerned I am talking to more than one person.
And now for the subject change, I do want to wish a happy fathers day to all of you who are fathers, I hope you have a good day and remember why we are so thankful as your children to have you in our lives. It has to be an amazing thing to be a father.

A Father’s Day Quote:

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
~Mark Twain.

I Don't Always Have The Nicest Things To Say

I am writing this primarily to get some things off my chest, first of all, if you are about to turn 19 you are an idiot. You don’t know what the hell you want, and you yes I am talking directly to you little blonde girl, If you are so angry with me and want nothing to do with me why the heck do you keep checking up on me, You know how that place is, the minute you say anything someone always goes running directly to the person you are talking about and tells them what you said, and they probably embellish because that is the nature of the beast that is the Wal~mart. NO I do not have a girlfriend and no I’m not seeing anyone. Yes there is someone that has been helping me get to and from work but no we are not more than friends. I have you to thank for that, you taught me that no one in that building is mature enough to handle a working relationship.... O'kay I have mentioned this before in previous rants... once again I am talking directly to you, If a guy is willing to cheat on his girlfriend to be with you HE WILL CHEAT ON YOU!!!!! Are you truly so disillusioned that you think you are better than her in someway, let me tell you if he wants anything more than another notch on his head board he would break up with her first. Please use that thing between your ears that seems to almost always be in a comatose state and open your eyes.
Secondly I have not done all of the things I have been accused of, but because once again it is easier for you to believe a rumor than to communicate with the source you will believe anything you hear, Nobody wants to look like scum, As an adult it is your responsibility to look at a person and try and figure out what they have to lose if their version of the story is even slightly slanted back at them. No woman in her right mind is going to admit to being kind of a tease, it might make her look bad and change your opinion of her to something less admirable. Thirdly, I am so over you! OH MY GOD! You could quite possibly be the most vain person on the planet, do you honestly think I could hold feelings for someone who was so willing to believe the worst in me with out even talking to me about it.... NEWS FLASH You dumped me not the other way around, There is no statue of limitations to how the hell I feel, Do I think you have the potential to be an amazing woman, Yes I really do, some day, right now you are just an angry little girl with only one person to focus all of your problems on. And on another note as far as the Mohawk idiot is concerned you are correct I started not liking him because of you, My annoyance and eventual hatred of him was completely his doing, even you are not stupid enough to believe that I act this way with out being antagonized. Once again of course he didn’t tell you that it would make him look bad, I am telling you this flat out, the guy is worthless I could say some further rude things but it isn’t necessary. I am truly sorry that we can’t end this relationship as friends but then I can’t say I’m surprised, I’m trying to behave like an adult. You know that writing is my way of venting, and I am pretty sure that I will get a lot of crap for posting this as a blog but the fact of the matter is if it is in writing no one can twist my words.... it’s here in black and white. I really do hope that your friend “Gump” does care for you and that he gives you whatever it is your looking for.
In other news, My uncle is getting married in a few weeks how cool is that? They are getting married on 07-07-07 at 7 pm I think that is so sweet I have always wanted to get married on a day like that. Hope you all enjoyed my rant it brought a smile to my face...

Not So Random Fact:
O'kay so I just came across this as I was looking through a book of random stories and trivia and thought it was appropriate
World Wide about 20 % of married couples are first cousins,
~Uncle John’s Unstoppable Bathroom Reader 16th edition